Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Chloe at 6 weeks

I had my 6 week checkup today and all looks good. It was so wonderful to see my midwife again and all the people that were with me through my whole pregnancy. It's almost weird to NOT be going there every week because you are there so much during the end of the pregnancy. I love those midwives, especially Peggy Boyd at Erie Women's Health Partners. I highly recommend her. I trusted her to make the right decisions for me and for Chloe and we are both recovered and healthy now... and I attribute a lot of that to the care I received there. I decided with her and my PCP's advice to get back on Zoloft now before I get too overwhelmed, and be ready to start work again in May (shooting weddings). She thought it was a really smart decision. Being a mom is HARD and I find myself snapping a little at people sometimes when I am very tired. I am not ashamed that I need a little help to cope!

Everyone was going nuts over Chloe today. She is definitely filling out - at her 1 month appointment she was 10 lbs (last week) 75 percentile for her weight and 21.25 inches (gained a quarter inch) 50th percentile for height. Her infant acne has really gone down and her beautiful skin is returning! Her clogged tear duct also seems to have stopped too which is fantastic! I am so excited to see her adjusting to life.

Here is a video of her at 6 weeks. After this she started crying pretty inconsolably ... so its not all giggles all the time ;-)

Love this girl!!

Thursday, April 15, 2010


This whole sleeping thing is so weird. Getting on baby's schedule, while trying to slowly mold her a bit more to ours. We've had a pretty good week so far - 3 out of teh four nights she's slept 6-7 hours at a time from around 9:30 to 3:30 ish, its been truly amazing. I didn't believe she could do it, but Brian was convinced so we started putting her down in the co-sleeper a little earlier... usually she falls asleep on her own but 2 nights I had to rock her to sleep (which only takes about 10 minutes) after her last feeding. Chloe is so funny when she's trying to wake herself up out of that deep sleep, she makes so many grunting noises... she stretches and squeals and sucks her fingers as she realizes how long its been since she ate!

I seriously think one of the secrets is the Halo SleepSack, Swaddle - We use it almost every night as her "blanket" and it keep her warm and cozy. I know eventually we won't be able to swaddle her arms in... but for now its working really well. Its a bit of a pain to get her out of it but worth it for the sound sleep she seems to get in it. I have a few other "sleep bags" that don't have the swaddle aspect so soon we will try those at night.

So we are hoping this pattern continues. I am really enjoying sleeping in the same room with her in the co-sleeper, it gives me so much peace and security to just lean over and know she is safe and warm with us. But at the same time I don't sleep as soundly, especially around the 5 hour mark I usually wake up and just wait and watch for her to wake up for 45 minutes. And when she makes noises they wake me up. The SIDs guidelines say baby should stay in the room with you for at least the first 6 months. I don't think that we will be able to do it that long though... I was thinking at the end of this month to start putting her in her crib. It certainlymakes it easier to nurse her when she is right there. Well... we will come to a decision.

Anyway... things are pretty good. I really hurt my back yesterday... doing nothing, I think I irritated it trying out different baby carriers the 2 days previous. So this is not good and is making it hard... I've had to ask for help from friends and family to come and help me with Chloe because sometimes my back hurts SO much I feel like I'm going to drop the baby.

I've started doing some work again for my old employer which is great but is making things quite hairy!

Oh also... we finally bit the bullet and got a new (used) car. We've been driving beaters for so long, it was time... things fell into place. Although I hate having a car payment again (its been a few years for us), it is worth it. This car rocks! It's a 2006 Hyundai Santa Fe.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

chloe is almost 1 month old!

This picture is when my mom and I took Chloe on her first walk. lol!

To say everything has changed... is an understatement. I never realized how completely different "pregnancy" is from having the baby - i mean, its a new world. It's like a new level. Chloe is beautiful and sweet, and yet she has her trying moments. Our house has moments of peacefulness and sometimes moments of chaos! I'm starting to go out again and do things, take her with me, and deal with consequences. The visits and meals have trailed off, things are starting to form our own normalcy. It was such a huge help having all those and people have been insanely generous with gifts. At the same time, seeing so many people and doing mild entertaining was overwhelming. Brian is off for 3 days this week and we are still having trouble getting things that are non-chloe-related done (i.e., sending in our estimated quarter 1 tax payments, looking for a new car, ehem... cleaning... lol)

Breastfeeding has been a challenge, then other times its just totally simple and natural. I struggle the most with being in public with it... thankfully our church has a parents room and a nursing mothers room because I pretty much can't get through an entire church service/experience which goes around 2+ hours including travel without feeding Chloe. It's hard because I want to do this for my baby, but I hate making anyone uncomfortable... but this is absolutely the best thing I can do for her right now, and I am committed to making it work as long as I can. I have moments where I'm like - I will definitely do this for at least 6 months, then moments where I'm like... ok... I just want to make it to three months. I'm starting to get nervous about returning to "work" in a little over a month - shooting my first wedding may 15 and what that will mean for our "routine" which is barely a routine really. Pumping is hard, and I hate it. It makes me feel demeaned and unnatural. lol. . . but its necessary for me to have any semblence of freedom at all!

Aside from those new tough moments - I can't believe how much I love this little one. When I see her my heart warms, I feel everything inside me open up to receive and nurture her. I struggle to let her cry for more then a few minutes without my heart breaking! I feel like she does know me already in a lot of ways, and she has different responses to me when I pick her up vs. others, and that is satisfying although I know it is instinctual :)

She is starting to make little smiling faces which just melt my heart and everyone elses (including daddy and grandma's) :-) Thanks to the heat though, or just baby-dum, she has developed some intense breakouts on her face and on her neck. I feel bad for her... she also has a clogged tear duct which some days is super goopy and gross and other days looks totally normal. We have a 1 month appt on Friday so we are going to investigate these things!

I will try to post a little more frequently... I did take some pictures for Easter and had her in a few cute but stylish outfits that I wanted to show off. :) My next endeavor is to try to get her flipping birth announcements done! It's sooo hard to get to this kind of stuff! I can't believe how much longer things take now! lol :)