bumps & bruises

Over the last few weeks, Chloe has begun taking the first of what everyone tells me, many, tumbles. Before we left for Myrtle Beach, I was packing the suitcase on the bed, and Chloe was up there with me. She is now a rolling pro, but I still didn't think she could roll THAT fast. I did what every book tells you not to do, and the thing I rarely EVER do, I walked out of the room while she was on the bed, in the middle surrounded by quilts. Just outside the room after about 10 seconds, I heard the most sickening thud. Then the worst crying and screaming I'd heard from Chloe yet. My heart went from my chest to my toes and I was awash with adrenaline. I ran in to swoop her up, calmly looked her over for injuries and felt her head, then held and comforted her. I quietly took her downstairs while saying "it's ok, I love you, I'm so sorry" and put her in her carseat, almost forgetting her binky, and put her in the car with shaking arms and drove her to the ER. She ended up being completely and totally fine - not even a bump on her! But it was very scary and I felt completely responsible and like a TERRIBLE mother and horribly irresponsible. I now know that this little baby is so fast, and doesn't know her own strength and speed.

On Sunday, when I was walking into church with Chloe on one hip and two bags on the other shoulder, I somehow (still don't really get it) tripped over the curp and fell down on the cement. I honestly don't know how I landed, I just know my body tried to protect Chloe from the fall somehow but she still did bump her head and got a small bruise above her eye. There were many people around which was good and bad. I thrust her into some amazing and helpful man's arms so I could get up (I stil don't know who it was but I want to thank him) and then a variety of people swarmed around me to see if she was ok. I was humiliated and felt horrible and was so scared about how bad that could have been. I believe I definitely took the brunt of that fall, I have a really bad scab and bruise on my elbow and knee and some brushburn on my hand. It really could have been so much worse.

The thought of Chloe getting hurt and me being responsible or not able to protect her is a tough one to deal with, but things will happen despite my best intentions. I have never known love like the love I have for my daughter. Everyone says it, but it is different, it is powerful. Marital and romantic love is beautiful and amazing, but different. I can't explain the need and urge to protect Chloe. It started while she was inside me and I was terrified of doing anything to harm her then.

My little Chlo-bear... she is my angel.

Win an Ergo Carrier!

I've always wanted an ERGO carrier for Chloe but never had the funds to get one. Here is a sweet contest for one! To qualify you have to post the link around everywhere so that's what I'm gonna do :)

http://www.heavenlyhold.com/pages/contest.htm

ERGO............. you should pick me! :)

TARGET Fall 2010 Advertisement featuring BLOGSPOT by Paul and The Patients

The song in this ad is by my cousin Paul. It fits so perfectly! I am trying to get this out there so it gets around :) Enjoy and share! can't wait to see it on tv.

"healthy attachment"

As Brian says. Chloe is DEFINITELY developing some attachment/separation issues with me. It's at the point now where she's playing, I leave the room and she whines. Sometimes she'll stop after a minute or two cuz she forgets about me, but sometimes it erupts into full-blown crying fits. She is still such a great baby though... she did quite well on our vacation (hope to post pictures of that at some point but we'll see)



She now clings to us when we pick her up... she wraps her little arms around our necks. It is darling and heart-melting.

I think this separation issues are going to be both a blessing and a curse!

I shot a wedding today and I missed her so much. It makes me scared if something were to ever happen to her... how awful it would be to never hold her again. She is so precious to me, the love I have for her is unbelievably big. It's just soooo different then anything else.

girly post

This might be TMI for some of you, but for me it was sort of momentous. I just got my first menstrual period since my pregnancy/birth of Chloe in the middle of the night last night (well if you don't count the HUGE period you have right after you give birth, which I do... cuz it's like the worst one ever) but anyway. It was so weird. and of course I got it ON vacation... what the what!! So annoying. But anyway I was shocked. I guess the fact that she's mostly weaned now (I still nurse in the mornings and occasionally at night too) has finally caught up to me. Some women get it sooner.. but it took 6 months. Yeah... my baby is 6 months (but that is a whole other post).

I think it was the moon or the tides here in Myrtle Beach since we're staying right next to the ocean. Who knows. Ugh. I forgot how much periods SUUUCCCKKKK. I did NOT miss these.

k bye.

day-to-day

This is just gonna be a random mind dump about chloe's day-to-day. I just wanted to get it all out and it was easier to type here then write all out in her baby book. i kind of wish I had a baby site instead of physical baby book but I guess you can't pass that on as much.

Chloe generally sleeps now from anywhere between 10-12 hours a night. It's truly incredible that I have such a great sleeper! She will get tired and cranky around 7:00 pm ...sometimes later. Most of the time at night she gets a bottle or nursing and it puts her right to sleep where we place her in her crib and she stays down! Occasionally she'll wake up around 4ish in the morning which is a bit tough, but I can handle it. I nurse a bit until she falls back asleep, but sometimes she wants to stay awake. we try to be firm that night time is sleep time! Sometimes at this point if she won't go down, Brian will help with his magic touch to get her to go back to sleep :)

When she wakes up in the morning she is usually so cute and happy - smiling and laughing and talking to herself in her crib. One of my favorite things is walking into her room in the morning and seeing her little smiling face. She gets so excited to see us first thing!! We change her diaper and then I usually nurse her for her "breakfast". Sometimes we bring her to bed with us - we are so lucky that we have a little time in the a.m. to spend together some mornings. She is just such a doll in the a.m.!

The rest of the day is spent in various periods of eating, playing, practicing rolling around, smiling, crying and yelling and talking loud. I am still really enjoying breast-feeding chloe - although she has bit me a few times. I really wasn't sure if I'd make it to 6 months, but because I also supplement with a little formula, the demand on me isn't so great and it is truly just a beautiful experience now. It is always available in the wee morning hours, when she is too sad or upset, etc. and can't be comforted by anything else and also sometimes to get her to sleep. I just love it so much - I look at her and just adore her all the time but nursing can be a special time for us! Even bottle feeding is awesome too. She has also tried various fruits & veggies - carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, applesauce, and oatmeal cereal. I've also tried fresh bananas and avacado and she's done great with them. She is an EATER!!

She is rolling and rolling and rolling. She creeps and almost crawls at certain times, but generally she just pushes herself backwards a lot and mainly rolls from place to place. Yesterday she pushed up on her hands & knees and got her chest/stomach off the floor. It was awesome! We are so proud of her.

She doesn't 'giggle' that much... however she does vocalize all the time. But when we can get her to giggle it's the best sound ever!! When she cries she often makes consanent sounds like "mamamaoammmaaaaamaaaaaa" or "baaababaaaaabaaa" and also sometimes when she's awake and happy too, but we're waiting on a litlte more of that. Her cries often go from whines to yells in an instant. it's quite interesting. I think she might be a bit of a whiner...we'll see.

She's super sweet and gives big wet sloppy kisses on my face. I adore it!

She's almost SIX MONTHS OLD!!