Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Watching the debate... but can't keep it on for more then 5 minutes. I hate confrontation and arguing - even though I KNOW it is necessary. it's just soooo awkward and the looks on their faces. ah!

We find out if this little baby #2 in "mommy's tummy" is a boy or girl on Friday morning. I am jittery with excitement and also terrified to find it out and then it becomes so much more real. We soon need to clear out his/her room, get prepared, etc.

I am still feeling stressed and busy but it's gotten a lot better. I had a stomach virus last night that was horrendous but quick. I think my pregnant stomach is weak and just can't keep it together during things like this. I don't know if I ever have thrown up that much. But it was over so fast and I was already eating again today. Now comes the part where I pray my brains out and heart out that Chloe and Brian don't get whatever it was, if it was contagious. Lord, please spare them!

till Friday....

Friday, September 21, 2012

17 weeks

This pregnancy is flying by. While raising a toddler and running a business & a home, you don't have a whole lot of time to think about much else or experience much else!

This is the week I've truly start feeling little "nemers" (as we call him/her) nudging me multiple times a day, but mostly at night when I'm working at my computer and leaned over forward (I know, terrible posture), which is funny because it's exactly how I felt Chloe first! I'm loving it.

I'm still not totally past  my nausea - I was dry-heaving the other morning, just sort of out of nowhere after a coughing/allergy fit. Symptoms are stronger. I'm still very tired at times (every few days I just feel like if I don't sleep or lay down RIGHT NOW I won't make it) - I almost always feel worse afterwards! Smells are making me crazy, especially different hand soaps and shampoos. Brushing my teeth is still a struggle although I think it is improving a bit. Getting my work done is slow going. I can feel the spot in my ribs starting to hurt a little bit again, and it's really early - so this scares me. I need to go to the doctor asap in order to try to get it under control.

That's all for now as I have a wedding tomorrow morning and I need to get to bed. aaah! last wedding of the 2012 season.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


Going on almost 13 weeks with baby #2 inside. Baby #1... Chloe... on the outside... she is something right now. I have been sooooo proud of her lately. Her bedtime has been going so much better as we found a way so that she would STOP getting out of her room. Call it a safety handle on the door knob. There have still been a lot of tears, but over the last few days, the tears have slowed way down. Right now she just rolled herself over onto her other pillow and tucked herself in. She's calling for me but not crying... maybe talking to her animals :) I know there will be bad nights again, but the improvement is remarkable.

Her new thing is repeating herself, over and over, and screaming. We are working on getting control of this. But most of the time she is CRACKING me up with her requests, things she makes up, says, etc. She's so much fun, but so draining... all at the same time.

I am really struggling personally. I am so far behind on my work I don't know how I'll ever catch up. I'm terrified about money next year because I don't want to work as much but we need even more money... always needing more money. I still don't feel settled in our new home, and that really depresses me. I hardly clean, have little motivation to do much of anything but sleep. I thought by 12 weeks I'd be feeling my energy coming back but this week it's been worse! Morning sickness has switched to afternoon funk/sleepy/sickness where I've starting napping during Chloe's nap which is a waste of precious time that I need to be working, taking care of the house.

My eating is out of control. I have constant post-nasal drip which makes me feel sick all the time. I cannot get ahold of myself. I feel like I should see a nutritionist who can make up an eating plan for me. I think step 1 is to get my Eating Clean book out again and start following it. It's not a DIET, it's just HEALTHFUL, wholesome eating, which is far from what I'm doing. I am doing a disservice to myself, my body, and my new baby. Sometimes I can't even get my prenatal vitamin down. I hardly move at all... zero activity other then chasing chloe around.

No more pity party for myself. I need to spring into action, as soon as possible.

Now... I must edit one of FOUR weddings I need to get done :(

Monday, July 23, 2012


This second pregnancy is kicking my butt.  I am so much more nauseated and tired then with chloe. I threw up this morning. It was absolutely awful. but then I was hungry almost immediately after. It's so weird. I am praying for relief. I took a Zofran today.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


Things have gone so downhill. The last 3 bedtimes (2 naps and 1 night time for me) have been nightmares. Brian put her to bed last night and it only took 3x. I seriously have given up hope that this is going to be easy at any point until we move and get settled. It's very difficult. She was up 5x in the middle of the night last night. I ended up sleeping on the full size bed in her room, and we were dead asleep until 6:45 (ON THE FREAKING DOT EVERY FLIPPING MORNING) that she woke up and went to the door and I was like.. Chloe.. I'm right here lol.

ughhhhh. gotta go to bed early in case there is a repeat but I have SO much to do right now. I feel like I'm drowning in work.

In GOOD NEWS though our house closing date is set for June 12!! Can't wait to get in there and start scrubbing it down and making it ours!!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

6/5 - nap

Major regression today. It was a disaster and I was partly the problem.

I let chloe stay out later then she should've at chic-fil-a as it was our last time with the Lees there. Id idn't want it to end and Chloe was having so much fun so I pushed it. We didn't leave till 12:10, I hoped Chloe would fall asleep in the car but she did not. I let her have 2 sips of my cherry coke and its possible that small amount was enough to boost her, or she just got her second wind.

Finally got her upstairs at 12:52pm
1) Out at 12:53
2) Out again immediately
3) Out at 12:54
4) Out again
5) Out at 12:55
6) Out at 12:56
7) Out at 12:58

During this whole segment above it was confusing. I was talking to her way too much, and then did one blankie removal threat, and she said, ok yes take my blankie. this is very confusing and so I stopped that but took it away. As soon as I left she screamed. Then everything got chaotic after the 7th time out of bed. I was completely inconsistent and didn't know what to do with her becuase she was so wound up, mad and pushing blankie at me, then crying when I took it, then asking me to take it.. I even laid down in her toddler bed with her to calm her down, and this didn't work either.

Finally I got consistent, took blankie out of room and did non-verbal stay-in-bed, over and over, probably about 15 times, from 1:05-1:15. She was so angry. Crying, screaming. I was crying. It was very difficult. Finally at 1:15 after her pleading I made eye contact again, laid her down and told her that I would give blankie back if she stayed in bed. I wiped her eyes and hands and kissed her, and covered her with blankie. Then she said "byeee...."

It's been quiet since (it's 1:25 now). So here's praying.

It's days like this when you want to give up. But I needed her to have that nap so badly, and I could tell she really needed it too. It is so difficult. I felt cruel but I know I was doing all I could.

Monday, June 4, 2012

6/4 - 6/5 night time sleep

Bedtime routine started early at 7:05 because she wanted to brush her teeth early

Read 4 books

7:42 lights out
1) 7:43 out of bed, told her to get back in bed
2) 7:44 our and threatened blankie take away and she said Ok and said oh yeah and gave it to me to take away (backfire!)
3) 7:45 out if bed again crying for blankie Put her back and she kept asking for it
4) 7:46 gave blankie back
5) 7:47 out and took blankie, she hardly seemed to care this time
    7:49 gave blankie back
6) 7:53 out and daddy took over
7) 7:55 out
8) 7:57 out and final warning

She rolled around until at least 8:30... but didn't get out.

Woke up twice - once around midnight, once at 5:30am

Then up up around 6:30

6/4 nap

Got her upstairs for teeth brushing and wash up at 11:50 Read 3 books, George & Martha, Pookie, and iras sleepover

 Down at 12:12

1) got out of bed immediately
2) 12:13 put again, threat of blankie removal
2) 12:14 out again, took blankie, screaming and pleading
3) out
4) out
5) 12:16 put her back in bed with blankie and explained if she stays in bed she gets to keep it.

Stayed asleep until 1:55pm

Sunday, June 3, 2012

6/3 - 6/4 Night time sleep

Chloe did not take a nap today due to our lunch time plans that we dragged her too, so she was quite cranky all night. Brian has been handling bedtime all weekend and he was going the "take blankie away" threat (and execution) route in combination with stay-in-bed technique. I really didn't want to go back to this because it causes a ton of screaming. and I don't know where to stand or what to do after taking blankie. It worked for him well, we'll see.

I got her in the bathtub around 6:45, and upstairs for bedtime routine by 7:10. We brushed teeth, did pjs and diaper and then read 3 books.

At 7:30 I laid her down
1) She got up immediately and I placed her back in bed and reitterated bedtime verbally that she needed to stay in bed.
2) Second time up at 7:33I told her if she got up again, I was taking blankie away
3) Third time  up at 7:35 I told her blankie was gone because she didn't listen to mommy and she got up.

           Crying and screaming commences for about 1 minute
           I put her back to bed with her blankie at 7:36 and reitterated that blankie would be gone again if she gets out of bed again.

That was the last time!

Shout out!

Shout out to my faithful readers, Mary & Bekah ;)

6/2 - 6/3 Night time sleep

Bedtime at 8pm, out of bed 3x with quick threat of blankie removal.

slept through the night! Woke up around 6:50 am :)

6/2 Nap

Need to get the update from daddy :) I believe she got up 5x.

Friday, June 1, 2012

6/1 - 6/2 Night time sleep

12x out of bed before bedtime... and a lot of night waking. this was a major regression and a rough night, especially for daddy.

We went out to dinner tonight but got Chloe home by 6:45 so good amount of time for wind down. She was happy to play blocks by herself and then play her keyboard with daddy. Around 7:20 I came to gather her for bedtime and teeth brushing and she was so happy to follow me upstairs... she even wanted to put her blocks away before going up. Also she ate broccoli at dinner with no complaints... it's been a weird day!

by 7:41 she was in bed
1) 7:42, out and i put her back WITH blankie and words
2) 7:43, out and i put her back with no blankie and no words
3) 7:45, out and she was mad, asking for blankie and crying (but not hard)
4) 7:46, out and asking for blankie again
5) 7:46, out again, this time i put her back with blankie placed lightly.

6) 8:00 - out

7) 8:06 - out and came downstairs, daddy takes over
8) 8:10 - out
9) 8:13 - out
10) 8:15 - out
11) 8: 20 - out
12) 8:22 - out with final warning, blankie being taken away

11:07pm - Out, light on... when parents got home, I think she heard people talking and doors opening
11:08pm - Out again
11:15pm - Out again
11:17pm - Out last time, threat of blankie take away, she stayed

4:00am - Out
6:30am - Out
6:40am - Out
I think finally they gave up around 6:50 and she went to hang out with gramma and granny.

6/1 Nap

Fell asleep in the car with daddy at 12:10 after playtime at chic fil a :)
Stayed asleep when brought inside and placed into bed!

Woke up around 2:05 and saw Katie the babysitter there, and said No No Katie! and put herself back to bed for 30 minutes!

So up again at 2:30 and then did well with katie other then getting into the toothpaste and yogurt because I forgot to put the gate up and her door, and she snuck out without katie knowing she was up!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

5/31 - 6/1 Night Sleep

total times out of bed at bedtime, 6x.

Bath at 6:40
Out of bath, snack at 7:05
Upstairs by 7:15
Brush teeth
3 books
Lights out at 7:38pm

7:50 - I placed two blankets on her

8:05 haven't heard from her, left mom and dad in charge

She woke up around 5 and yelled, but didn't get out of bed.

Up at 6:15 and grandma had to reason with her to put her back in bed, it did not go that well. She stayed in bed for 25 more minutes then she woke up completely.

5/31 Nap

Started bedtime at 12:45
Lights off at 1:02pm

1) Out of bed at 1:03pm
2) Out of bed at 1:04pm
3) Out of bed at 1:05pm
4) Out of bed at 1:06pm, and then ran over to get all her animals that I stupidly left out. I went in and put them all away in the closet.
5) 1:09 she got out
6) 1:09 immediately out again and threw blankie on floor, then came to the door

I put her back in around 1:10 and covered her lightly with blanket and she cried for mommy and for me to fix her hair which I ignored and left.

It's 1:20 and all is still quiet, we'll see.


Stayed asleep and woke up at 3:00sharp!

5/30 - 5/31 night time sleep

Tonights bedtime in detail -  10x out

Upstairs at 7:15
Books at 7:24
Read 2 then talked about her day
Lights out at 7:36
First time out 7:36
(no mommy, hands in)
Second time out 7:37 - hands in, dropped to floor 
7:38 out
7:39 with blankie
Put her back without fixing 
7:40 out with blankie on floor
Put her back with lightly placed blankie
7:48 calling for me from bed
7:49 out, look in cabinet
Put her back with lightly places blankie
8:01 - sit up and wrinkly blankie
8:02 - out
I did Put blankie back on, hands complain, left without talking or complying, she is crying. Quiet... Watching door
8:04 out of bed again
Put her back, placed blankie 
8:15 out of bed again
8:15 out of bed quickly right after
8:16 back in bed with blankie and water

No talking went into this but i did place her blankie back on her, but not tucking her in.

Up at 1:30am

Up at 5:30am, got back to sleep with some coaxing

Up at 7:10am for the day

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


We are still waiting to close on our house. It is a foreclosure, and we love it, but bought it knowing it would need fixing up. So we have at least 2-3 weeks of work before we can move in AFTER we close on it. It's definitely getting hard... I'm trying very hard not to be discontent. We were supposed to have closed on Friday and things got held back because there is a mold problem in the garage. We were always planning on fixing it ourselves and we knew about it, but the bank flagged it and said - this has to be fixed before you can move in. After some deliberation, we went back to HUD (Housing & Urban Development, the govt, who owns the house) and told them and they offered to fix it but it is SLOW SLOW SLOW with estimates, paperwork, extensions on our closing date, paperwork, etc. etc.

I'm starting to lose hope that we will be in the house by the end of June at all now, and when we will make it in. The longer we have to wait, the more in disrepair things are - we drive by it often to make sure things are ok and the weeds are just out of control, and I just want so badly to get in and start cleaning it up. But we can't touch it until we own it. Which I understand, but it's also so frustrating because it is vacant!

My parents have been amazing taking us in. We are just ready to get into our own space again and get Chloe settled, and my business too. I'm right now taking up half their living room with all my camera gear, paperwork, computer, packaging, etc. It's a mess and I hate living in this disaster but it is what it is.

Chloe loves grandma and granny (that's her name for grand-dad), which is a relief. Tonight we spent 25 minutes just watching granny mow the lawn!

Anyway... I am trying very hard not to complain and to be joyful about this amazing house and the opportunity we had to get it way under purchase price and everything. But I am ready to move on and get in there and make it our own.

Lord, grant me patience through the stress and exhaustion.

5/30 Nap

We had a great morning at the park with some friends and she did not want to leave, but I finally ripped her away at 12:00 noon, knowing she needed to get home to start winding down for her nap.

Finally got her in bed around 12:55pm after 3 books.

She again resisted laying down but finally did after about 30 seconds of struggle.

She got out of her bed 6 times. Finally fell asleep around 1:15. I did place her blankie back over her twice.

Got up and came downstairs at 2:40pm

5/29 - 5/30 night time sleep

Bedtime routine started at 7:15 pm (a bit later then normal, and no bath).

Brush teeth, wash up, dry hands (she loves this part)

Chloe's room to change into PJs, get clean diaper on.

Chloe's bed to read books (been reading much longer now - we read 2 long books)

Tucking in and kisses, hugs around 7:40. She protested laying down on her pillow and I had to physically place her in position to get blanket around her multiple times.

She got up and down I believe 9 times from 7:45 until about 8:15/8:30. I ignored and didn't speak to her after the first 2 times (as per the super nanny technique). She screamed for me to put her blankie back on. I ignored her unless she was holding the blankie in which case I put her down, no talking, and quickly put the blankie loosely over her, then left. I had to do this twice, but the last time she did not get out again.

She woke in the middle of the night at midnight and 5:00am, both times only required a hug, placing back in bed and re-tucking blankets. Although at 5 she asked for rocking chair, but I said no. I try not to talk with her at all in the middle of the night unless she seems scared.

She finally woke up and went to the gate in front of her room and started crying to get up at 6:45am

A 2 year old and sleeping

It's been a LONG time since I got on this blog. Right now we are in an interesting living situation as we sold our home and are waiting to get into our new one, and are living with my parents! They are so kind as to take us in.. but it for sure has it's challenges. The biggest of which is Chloe's sleeping situation. This had started before we moved but has amplified since we got here (been about 4-5 weeks now).

The challenges are:

Chloe now sleeps in a toddler bed that my parents generously bought her ... we had to take her out of her crib around 22 months I think as she was climbing out and frequently dropping and hurting herself.

The room, however, is at the top of the stairs, directly across from my parents, and it is difficult for them to ignore her if she cries... although now we have air conditioners on and they don't always here her. WE have a safety gate in front of her bedroom door so she can't tiredly stumble out of bed and out of her door/down the stairs in the middle of the night.

She gets in and out of bed freely, and often.

She knows how and constantly opens the door and closes it. She could probably push the gate down too if given the chance and she got mad enough - we have caught her making attempts to climb it.

She will not go to sleep first time laying down, and makes many demands of us - mainly "blankie, hands in, hold sippy and drink water, etc." But her main complaint is always that her hands aren't right under the blankie, and she will take them in and out over and over. We eventually have to walk away and leave her unhappy because it gets ridiculous.

She wakes up in the middle of the night 1-5 times a night.

She occasionally will fall out of the toddler bed, but this is rare.

She is waking up early, at 6:45.

Things we have tried - most are a variation on the super nanny stay in bed technique, but I feel like I've never quite gotten it really right - and it is much harder to actually do it then it claims.

Continuing to put her back in bed, while giving in to her demands. This is a manipulative cycle where she keeps getting her way and everyone is exhausted.

Continuing to put her to bed, and trying our best to ignore her demands, which causes major tantrums and lots of screaming. I feel myself that I have not bee ignoring her well enough and almost always end up giving in.

Continuing to put her to bed, while ignoring her and standing by the door and not making eye contact, while she screams at us.

Occasionally we will let her cry at the door/gate (which she could easily push down if mad enough) and she usually flips on her light, starts pulling things off of dressers (even though there's hardly anything in there), and will not sleep but start playing... and every 5-10 minutes come to the door and cry or call for us.

At our old house, we sometimes would hold the door from the outside so she couldn't get out (she learned how to break off the safety door knob covers within a week), and she would sometimes collapse in front of the door and fall asleep on the floor but this hasn't happened for a  long time.

Continuing to put her back in bed, and taking things away with threats (like, if you get out of bed again, mommy will take your sippy cup away) Usually this is met with "no no no!" but She still does it, and gets the consequence, then loses her mind and screams and cries. We give it back, then take it away longer next time.

Trying some advice from a book about earlier bed time being better earlier, and putting her down in bed between 7:20 and 7:40 - if possible.

Setting up a much longer and more calming, definitive bed time routine starting around 7:00, unless bath is involved, then 6:45.

I discovered she does much better if she goes to bed earlier rather then later - naptime is now between 12 and 1 o clock.

Last week we started really working on the bedtime routine, and it started helping for a few days but as with everything she finds a way to exhaust us thoroughly by continuing to get out of bed over and over despite our efforts.

The problem with almost all of these is she wises up to our games and starts expecting them, making it a game, and asking for them. - like... she asks us to take away her sippy... she'll say "daddy, stand?" (standing by the door for ignoring technique).

So... that is the crazyness. Now for a new blog post on my challenge to implement super nanny stay in bed as closely as possible to see if we can improve this situation.

We bought a new door lock that we were going to install backwards, but I really think this is going to create more problems then it could solve. The goal with this was to let her just cry... but I feel that crying - it - out with toddlers is a whole different world then with babies, and I just don't know if I'm ready to go all that way. Believe me, the methods we are using involve a lot of tears because there are consequences and taking things away, but to just lock the door, let her cry and potentially wreck the room.. I don't know. But if this doesn't work, it may come to that.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

update from april


Naptime -- Somehow she found a pot of Eucerin cream (which is pretty greasy)... I didn’t hear her and she was being really quiet. Walked in and in about 10 minutes she had it all over her legs, shirt and the carpet. argh. She seemed to know she was being mischievous and had created a big mess but she also seemed kind of happy about it.
Since she turned 2, naptime has turned into a struggle. It’s hit or miss! I can’t tell if she is going to nap or not, so far this week, she has napped 1 out of 4 tries. So we’ll try again tomorrow. She also figured out how to get her closet open and her dresser open so nothing in there is safe either!
Part of nap time now is spent opening and closing her bedroom door. Sometimes she’ll step out of the door into the hallway and will quietly close her door, but usually I catch her and put her right back in her room. 
She started saying “oh crap” sometimes. I have to watch what I say!

She says “Ohhhooohhhhhhh” now instead of “yes” when we ask her a question that she has an affirmative answer for. It’s cute but also trying to get her to start saying y es again. I’ve also noticed she’s trying very very hard to put together long sentences, and maybe she gets tired because she keeps mumbling a lot in between and we are losing her words. 
She associates the word birthday with cake :) She asks for mac & cheese and it sounds like apple cheese :) Her favorite foods are probably still cereal and yogurt and cheese and fruit - she loves grapes. she stopped eating bananas for a while but now seems to like them again lol! She loves to try anything mommy is trying!
She asks to go in “mommy’s bed” a lot, and still is obsessed with Kipper the show! She also is getting more into Yo Gaba Gaba and asks for it, and says it’s fun. She loves, loves, loves to play outside! I hope to one day get her a little swingset/play thing in our backyard where ever that ends up being!
She is so funny... ah. :)