the baby weight

I've been trying various things over the last few months to lose about 20 lbs of weight. A few of the pounds are baby-related, but most was from before the baby - my philosophy then was "well i'm going to get fat anyway, so might as well just let myself go." Boy this was a mistake... I really think that my unhealthy/overweight body was not as well equipped for pregnancy as it would have been if I would have been stronger and leaner. I could be wrong, but that is my hunch.

I was talking to a friend of mine that I sing with at church about how she lost weight after she had her baby. She brought in her book on Eating Clean, and I've been reading/dabbling in it for the last two days. Generally the principles of Eating Clean are 6 meals a day with components like lots of lean protein, paired with complex carbohydrates in vegetables and fruit. Nuts, lean meats, lots of eggs, etc. And TONS of water (like 3+ liters) She really talks about eating "real" clean foods, cutting out a lot of the processed stuff. Obviously, this is hard for me. However, the thing I like about it is that it doesn't make me cut carbs completely, in fact the breakfast is my favorite meal by far, a large cup of hearty and healthy organic oats, with wheat germ, flaxseed mixed in, and mixed berries or various fruit to top it. Then one whole egg and 4 egg whites (prepared however) for the protein. I can't eat that many eggs so I've just been doing 1 egg and mixing 2 whites. Anyway - you can still eat healthy dairy in moderation, and I'm learning about things like almond butter and soybeans. The other decent thing is that most of these foods are good for chloe to eat too, so we're both eating healthier at once and she's experiencing some new foods. It's truly exhausting though as I'm moving away from baby jar foods and giving her more healthy table foods. Sigh. Anyway... enough of that.

The first day was exciting, energizing and motivating. Overall I felt great and really pumped. I drank all my water (peeing like a racehorse, which is actually very hard for me since the bathroom is upstairs and every time i leave chloe alone for a moment in the living room she has a crying fit) I went to the store and stocked up on spinach, lean chicken, almond butter, wheat germ, flaxseed, tuna (which I hate), frozen mixed veggies (it's almost impossible for me to keep fresh veggies in the house without most of them going bad since brian doesn't eat them, plus this is much more convenient for me as a busy mom of a 1 year old!), frozen/fresh fruit, greek yogurt, soybeans, sweet potatoes, etc.

I'm at the end of day two and it's already getting harder. Brian had a bagel for a snack and I wanted it so badly. I am missing my sweets/white carbs, pop tarts, etc. a lot. I'm sick of water already. I'm also feeling the effects digestively too from eating so much more fiber, protein and veggies. That's all I will say. But I believe that will pass. The food I'm eating is good, and I'm not going to the letter, or else I'd have to cook 2 separate meals on the nights Brian's home, and that's just not happening. But I just miss the convenience of the things I was eating before. But I know I was letting myself get so dehydrated, and so hungry, so I know that this schedule of eating, and these foods are really really so good for me in every way.

I did get a short work-out in today too, but I know I need to increase that as much as I can, especially lifting weights, resistance training.

So... anyway.... that's all. Going to keep it up. Hopefully I'll start seeing some changes and can stay motivated to keep going. Thanks for reading!

dear chloe, at one year.

Dear Chloe,

I am in awe of you and your beauty and sweetness. I can't believe that God blessed me with such a an incredible child. I can remember the day we found out you we were going to have you, and being in disbelief. After a hard pregnancy, I went to the doctor to be checked and they told me that you were going to be coming that night! We couldn't believe it. We went to the hospital and felt scared, jumpy, but mostly overjoyed. I remember how hard it was to get you out of me, and the precious moment when I saw you for the first time and got to kiss your sweet little face. Then they took you and cleaned you up, and brought you back to me after the doctor's checked you and I over to make sure we were going to be ok. You were so quiet, sweet, and alert. I remember when your eyes looked at me, and taking pictures of you and having the family around just in awe of you.



Chloe only a few hours old, March 9, 2010 born at 11:18am



Chloe at 1 year old, March 9, 2011 with her present from mommy & daddy

Chloe at her birthday party last Saturday, March 5

It's been one year since that day, and you have changed so much. It goes so rapidly, I feel like I blink and you are a new child, with some new talent or babble to show us that day! I look at your pictures from one year ago and I can't believe how much you've grown. You are almost walking now, you took two steps on Friday (March 4) You say dada all the time, and have a word that sounds like "duck" for yes. You've started to hum a little tune and love to laugh and imitate mommy. You love your kitties, and the lids of containers to chew on. You have eight teeth, and are eating more and more real people foods. You still like baby food though :) Generally you like most of the foods mommy & daddy give you except you are starting to push green veggies away at times. You know how to sign "more" and "eat", and will come up to us, and point to our mouths to tell us you are hungry! You love your sippy cup of water! I will soon have to stop giving you bottles/formula and binky and I'm not looking forward to it. You LOVE your binky still and whenever you suck on it, you look like a tiny baby again and become cuddly and sleepy. It is our magic sleeping charm ;)

When friends and family come to visit, you just light up when people enter the room! At church though you are sometimes a little shy, preferring to cling to mommy. You cry when I leave you in the nursery, but usually within a minute or two you are very happy and loving to play with all the kids! You are super active, loving to climb the stairs, crawl quickly across the living room and hall. We are so excited when you respond to us, point, and tell us what you like and want and prefer. Your beautiful hair is getting so long, and to me you are perfect in every way.

Chloe, your birth and life has completely changed me and your daddy. We are absolutely smitten with you, and our love for you is so deep, it is hard to describe. We will always always love you, and always be there for you, and be proud of you. I pray to God that you will know Him, and have a relationship with Him, and that the Father will protect your little life from harm. I lift you up into His hands right now, my precious, beautiful daughter.