It's been a LONG time since I got on this blog. Right now we are in an interesting living situation as we sold our home and are waiting to get into our new one, and are living with my parents! They are so kind as to take us in.. but it for sure has it's challenges. The biggest of which is Chloe's sleeping situation. This had started before we moved but has amplified since we got here (been about 4-5 weeks now).
The challenges are:
Chloe now sleeps in a toddler bed that my parents generously bought her ... we had to take her out of her crib around 22 months I think as she was climbing out and frequently dropping and hurting herself.
The room, however, is at the top of the stairs, directly across from my parents, and it is difficult for them to ignore her if she cries... although now we have air conditioners on and they don't always here her. WE have a safety gate in front of her bedroom door so she can't tiredly stumble out of bed and out of her door/down the stairs in the middle of the night.
She gets in and out of bed freely, and often.
She knows how and constantly opens the door and closes it. She could probably push the gate down too if given the chance and she got mad enough - we have caught her making attempts to climb it.
She will not go to sleep first time laying down, and makes many demands of us - mainly "blankie, hands in, hold sippy and drink water, etc." But her main complaint is always that her hands aren't right under the blankie, and she will take them in and out over and over. We eventually have to walk away and leave her unhappy because it gets ridiculous.
She wakes up in the middle of the night 1-5 times a night.
She occasionally will fall out of the toddler bed, but this is rare.
She is waking up early, at 6:45.
Things we have tried - most are a variation on the
super nanny stay in bed technique, but I feel like I've never quite gotten it really right - and it is much harder to actually do it then it claims.
Continuing to put her back in bed, while giving in to her demands. This is a manipulative cycle where she keeps getting her way and everyone is exhausted.
Continuing to put her to bed, and trying our best to ignore her demands, which causes major tantrums and lots of screaming. I feel myself that I have not bee ignoring her well enough and almost always end up giving in.
Continuing to put her to bed, while ignoring her and standing by the door and not making eye contact, while she screams at us.
Occasionally we will let her cry at the door/gate (which she could easily push down if mad enough) and she usually flips on her light, starts pulling things off of dressers (even though there's hardly anything in there), and will not sleep but start playing... and every 5-10 minutes come to the door and cry or call for us.
At our old house, we sometimes would hold the door from the outside so she couldn't get out (she learned how to break off the safety door knob covers within a week), and she would sometimes collapse in front of the door and fall asleep on the floor but this hasn't happened for a long time.
Continuing to put her back in bed, and taking things away with threats (like, if you get out of bed again, mommy will take your sippy cup away) Usually this is met with "no no no!" but She still does it, and gets the consequence, then loses her mind and screams and cries. We give it back, then take it away longer next time.
Trying some advice from a book about earlier bed time being better earlier, and putting her down in bed between 7:20 and 7:40 - if possible.
Setting up a much longer and more calming, definitive bed time routine starting around 7:00, unless bath is involved, then 6:45.
I discovered she does much better if she goes to bed earlier rather then later - naptime is now between 12 and 1 o clock.
Last week we started really working on the bedtime routine, and it started helping for a few days but as with everything she finds a way to exhaust us thoroughly by continuing to get out of bed over and over despite our efforts.
The problem with almost all of these is she wises up to our games and starts expecting them, making it a game, and asking for them. - like... she asks us to take away her sippy... she'll say "daddy, stand?" (standing by the door for ignoring technique).
So... that is the crazyness. Now for a new blog post on my challenge to implement super nanny stay in bed as closely as possible to see if we can improve this situation.
We bought a new door lock that we were going to install backwards, but I really think this is going to create more problems then it could solve. The goal with this was to let her just cry... but I feel that crying - it - out with toddlers is a whole different world then with babies, and I just don't know if I'm ready to go all that way. Believe me, the methods we are using involve a lot of tears because there are consequences and taking things away, but to just lock the door, let her cry and potentially wreck the room.. I don't know. But if this doesn't work, it may come to that.
