transition time

Been thinking a lot this week about the transition in going from young, 20-something, drop everything and go, do whatever we want, stay up till all hours people... to young mom & dad, and young family we will become in 7 months or so. I've wrestled with it a bit... it's hard to realize how different things will be, but I know the sacrifice will be so so so worth it. I think it hit me because this week I missed 2 fun, random things I could have done with some of my best friends who don't have children, because I'm simply exhausted by 10:15 pm and can't barely keep my head up. It's utterly impossible when you are at this stage, and every friend I've spoken to who's been pregnant agrees that it is like this, especially in the first trimester. This baby begins to change the woman, I believe, long before it really truly affects the man. I had an emotional week, but as hormones are raging I believe this is ok. The amazing thing is seeing how Brian wants to help me as much as he can, and I appreciate every tiny move he makes for me and in helping me. But even at some moments, he needs his own time and to be able to go and just be free, especially if I'm just going to be sleeping! haha.

I guess I have this weird fear of losing friends and changing relationships when we have a child. I always do fear those two things anyway in friendships, especially after being hurt and burned by one a few years ago that has still to this day messed me up and makes me believe all our friends will inevitably get sick of or drop us. Regardless of that issue-that-is-totally-my-own ... I know things will inevitably change. But I pray that the transition will be smooth, and we won't fall off the face of the earth too much. But... if we do... it's worth it for that little life growing inside. Who knows how it will all be??

As you can see - I'm a crazy rollercoaster of this, that, and the other thing right now. So, bear with me!