update

Going on almost 13 weeks with baby #2 inside. Baby #1... Chloe... on the outside... she is something right now. I have been sooooo proud of her lately. Her bedtime has been going so much better as we found a way so that she would STOP getting out of her room. Call it a safety handle on the door knob. There have still been a lot of tears, but over the last few days, the tears have slowed way down. Right now she just rolled herself over onto her other pillow and tucked herself in. She's calling for me but not crying... maybe talking to her animals :) I know there will be bad nights again, but the improvement is remarkable.

Her new thing is repeating herself, over and over, and screaming. We are working on getting control of this. But most of the time she is CRACKING me up with her requests, things she makes up, says, etc. She's so much fun, but so draining... all at the same time.

I am really struggling personally. I am so far behind on my work I don't know how I'll ever catch up. I'm terrified about money next year because I don't want to work as much but we need even more money... always needing more money. I still don't feel settled in our new home, and that really depresses me. I hardly clean, have little motivation to do much of anything but sleep. I thought by 12 weeks I'd be feeling my energy coming back but this week it's been worse! Morning sickness has switched to afternoon funk/sleepy/sickness where I've starting napping during Chloe's nap which is a waste of precious time that I need to be working, taking care of the house.

My eating is out of control. I have constant post-nasal drip which makes me feel sick all the time. I cannot get ahold of myself. I feel like I should see a nutritionist who can make up an eating plan for me. I think step 1 is to get my Eating Clean book out again and start following it. It's not a DIET, it's just HEALTHFUL, wholesome eating, which is far from what I'm doing. I am doing a disservice to myself, my body, and my new baby. Sometimes I can't even get my prenatal vitamin down. I hardly move at all... zero activity other then chasing chloe around.

No more pity party for myself. I need to spring into action, as soon as possible.

Now... I must edit one of FOUR weddings I need to get done :(

12 weeks/doc

Nothing major to report other than TON of intestinal distress from my IBS. It's been worse this week by far then anyother week I've come across yet. I actually went to my PCP (nurse practitioner since Dr. Brown wasn't available) to see if I could take any Bentyl - and she said its really not safe yet. I was bummed, but I also want to do what is best for the baby. I had a long talk with her where I cried a lot (what else is new) about fears something is wrong. She looked me in the eye and said - "Relax, Breathe, and enjoy this. This is the only pregnancy you'll have with this baby. It's out of your hands, and you are doing your best."

It was slightly condescending, but also re-assuring, if that makes sense. Ha! Anyway here's a 12 week belly shot, although it's really no different then last week. The doctor said its totally normal to not really be showing yet and not be much different and that the uterus isn't quite forward yet. This made me feel good.

12 weeks

I weighed myself this morning and I'd lost another lb since yesterday, a total of 3 since last week. 11 weeks I weighed 188.9, and today, 186.2 - it's very bizarre, and a little scary. I don't like it. I have a doctors appt next week, and I will talk to her about my weight jumping around, especially if it goes up again next week. Maybe it's because my energy is back so I'm not laying around as much, and I do feel like I'm eating a little less then I was since I'm not feeling so sick all the time.

Praying it's no big deal and, if the baby is still healthy, glad I haven't gained too much so far!

12 weeks news:

How your baby's growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.