hair loss

Did you know that when you have a baby, the hormone changes screw even with your hair? My hair was thick and lush while pregnant, and about 3-4 months post-partum, it started falling out, like CRAZY!! It was a bit scary at first, but I am blessed with thick hair naturally, so it wasn't so bad until I realized I actually had bald spots around my temples!

Well, it's been coming back in now for the last month or two, and it's finally pretty obvious exactly where the majority of the loss was. I'm just happy it's coming back, even though I practically have shag bangs around my whole face. LOL! I knew it was bad when my good friend Kristin goes "what's up with all these little hairs here?" while looking at me. aaah...

Observe the photographic evidence :) (highlights just done by Ellen)

oh yeah... we did some holiday stuff at the end of November

Brian and I had a fun day of putting up the initial Christmas decorations at the end of November before Thanksgiving! We took it very slow this year, doing a little at a time because things tend to overwhelm me in large amounts lately. It was fun... we got snacks, made cookies and just hung out together, and he even put up with watching the Holiday again for me! The cats enjoyed themselves too.



Ah, what is Christmas without an up close picture of lights?



This was so yummy, although I recall feeling not so good the next day. lol.



A little cookie for the baby (or an excuse for me to eat more)




Tycho & Zelda checking out.




Then we spent Thanksgiving in Maryland with Brian's family. I didn't take enough pics of us all, I hope to do some more over New Years. Here is my wonderful Thanksgiving plate. It was so good. Thanksgiving is truly the best meal of the year, in my opinion.

Brian's grandparents, John & Anne asked me to get a good picture of them that they could send to some people. It turned out so nice, we love it and got a print for ourselves. I think Beth (Brian's mom) might even paint it!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year everyone! Pics from Christmas New Years and my first baby shower will be coming in a few weeks :)

weird weird weird dream

I had a dream. I can't remember the progression, but there were parts that involved everyone in Erie who's name was Rachel getting a zombie-type-virus. There was a part that involved some other girl with the screename "secret rach" who was IMing/SPAMMING me on AIM and twitter telling me about the dangers about to befall me. At one point she IM'd me over 628 times in 1 minutes. Another section of the dream involved me getting stuck up by the "peninsula" at someone's house with no cell phone service and being late for my engagement shoot today. Then suddenly I was in the same room as the girl.

geez. weirdness.....

I had a really really hormonal, tearful night last night. I wonder if hormone surges can also cause really bizarre dreams...

zelda & tychs

The kitties are enjoying the cooler temperatures by cozying up in the house :)

Zelda has been enjoying sitting in the box where I store my business receipts while I work. Ok so these were actually taken a month ago, but she's actually doing it right now while I'm posting!



Tycho just likes to be in the way everywhere and everything :) Including getting up on my beautiful fall decorated mantel and shattering the glass vases. Sigh. I say... see Tycho, this is why we can't have nice things! ;-)



I can't believe how fast fall is passing and winter is approaching. Dave says snow next week possibly. INSANE. These are the days though that I love working from home. Cozy cozy office with cozy kitties!

family updates

Brian's mom Beth, came in for the weekend to spend time with us (well mainly Brian and I was out of town for a wedding) for her late birthday present. It was so good to see her and spend time with her. It was weird that this is the first time we've all seen her since we found out we were pregnant, since my grandma died. Everything sort of seems different now... everything IS different now.

Amy - my amazing sister - is now engaged!! I am so thrilled for her, and I know that her wedding and marriage is going to be beautiful and unique. You can read the story here :) Josh is such a fantastic guy who has a huge heart, and treats my sister amazingly (which is what every big sister wants to see!)

Papa had a third surgery yesterday - this one was to explore the bladder and potentially scrape out any regrowth of cancer. Unfortunately, his bladder cancer is so aggressive, that 80% of the tumors that were removed less than two months ago, have returned. This FREAKS ME OUT and is so insane. They injected some chemotherapy medicine directly into the bladder, and will continue to try this for 6 weeks to see if it can make a dent in the tumors this way. If not, then the next stage will potentially be a surgery to completely remove the bladder, which can be totally brutal and for an 80-something year old man, sigh. I just don't want him to have to go through that. But at the same time, I know Papa wants to do whatever is best to keep his life going, and he seems to have a good outlook and said, let's just trust in God, and put it all in His hands.

The sort of contrast of having one grandmother die in the spring who I wasn't really very close to, then having a grandmother die in June from cancer, just a few weeks before we found out we were pregnant, who I WAS very close to.... and THEN watching my grandpa go through another battle with a different kind of cancer. Then Amy is getting married... and neither grandma will be there. All so fast. I miss my grandma Koos so much sometimes... I just can't believe she is not here. I just think of her and... I wish I could dream more about her to hear her talk to me again. I think we all are still reeling that it happened as fast as it did. I miss her laugh most of all, and how much she loved her family and her kitties. Cancer.. Cancer... Cancer. Death. Life. Cancer. Marriage. Life. Baby. Fear. Family. Cancer. Sickness. Change. Joy. Sorrow. Life. Love. Support. Life. Love.

God's control... God's plan... God's protection... God's arms... God's promise.

In His shadow there is peace
In His arms there is rest
In His word there is hope
In His hands there is grace

In the end... no hurting
In the end... no yearning
In the end... no suffering, no sadness or pain
In the end...

-David Crowder, In the End [O Resplendant Light!]