update

Going on almost 13 weeks with baby #2 inside. Baby #1... Chloe... on the outside... she is something right now. I have been sooooo proud of her lately. Her bedtime has been going so much better as we found a way so that she would STOP getting out of her room. Call it a safety handle on the door knob. There have still been a lot of tears, but over the last few days, the tears have slowed way down. Right now she just rolled herself over onto her other pillow and tucked herself in. She's calling for me but not crying... maybe talking to her animals :) I know there will be bad nights again, but the improvement is remarkable.

Her new thing is repeating herself, over and over, and screaming. We are working on getting control of this. But most of the time she is CRACKING me up with her requests, things she makes up, says, etc. She's so much fun, but so draining... all at the same time.

I am really struggling personally. I am so far behind on my work I don't know how I'll ever catch up. I'm terrified about money next year because I don't want to work as much but we need even more money... always needing more money. I still don't feel settled in our new home, and that really depresses me. I hardly clean, have little motivation to do much of anything but sleep. I thought by 12 weeks I'd be feeling my energy coming back but this week it's been worse! Morning sickness has switched to afternoon funk/sleepy/sickness where I've starting napping during Chloe's nap which is a waste of precious time that I need to be working, taking care of the house.

My eating is out of control. I have constant post-nasal drip which makes me feel sick all the time. I cannot get ahold of myself. I feel like I should see a nutritionist who can make up an eating plan for me. I think step 1 is to get my Eating Clean book out again and start following it. It's not a DIET, it's just HEALTHFUL, wholesome eating, which is far from what I'm doing. I am doing a disservice to myself, my body, and my new baby. Sometimes I can't even get my prenatal vitamin down. I hardly move at all... zero activity other then chasing chloe around.

No more pity party for myself. I need to spring into action, as soon as possible.

Now... I must edit one of FOUR weddings I need to get done :(

what a weird night of sleep

Last night I had another night where I fell asleep around 9:30 on the couch, and then proceeded to pick myself up around 11:00pm, and drag myself into bed. Brian came to bed around 2:00am, and I woke up again, tossed and turned, then went and slept down on the couch until about 8:30 this morning. This is SO not like me, I usually sleep 7 hours a night tops - sometimes I'm pushing 13 with this early pregnancy fatigue!

The good thing is, I woke up feeling a lot better than I have the previous mornings, just a slight bit of nausea and I think some real energy, so I hope I can be productive today, and really get a lot accomplished, since I have gotten pretty much Nada accomplished the last 3 days.

I have a wedding this Saturday at the Peek and I'm nervous about my energy level and inspiration. Its like my creativity has been sapped, and I'm very scared that my couples within my first trimester are going to suffer from my lack of creativity. I am going to try to go with many ideas so I don't have to think about much and just try to go on auto pilot with ideas I know will work well.