I have so much to catch you all up on and get recorded here, but I just can't seem to find the time to get blogging. Luckily I took some adorable pictures of chloe in her Easter dress and they are begging to be shared, so I hope to get those up today. Stay tuned!!
In other news, at 13.5 months, chloe is hilarious. We are adoring this stage. She is zooming around and walking like a champ. Oh yes, she tumbles a lot, but she gets right back up and keeps going. She makes funny faces at me and giggles a lot. She kNOWS what she wants.
And this girl... this girl LOVES music. I often catch her saying "no, no, doh, doh" in a sing-song voice to herself. If we sing to her, she doesn't want it to stop. She does her little back & forth sway with her shoulders/hand to let us know "KEEP THE MUSIC GOING PLEASE!" She even figured out how to turn up the volume of the music at my parents house and she started dancing with pride! Brian and I do sing to her a lot, but being as musical as we are, I actually thought we'd play more, do more songs with her, etc. She still has gotten the music bug though. I love it!
So far... this is my favorite stage she's been in... i think. I mean, I love them all... but I dunno. I just LOVE HER!!!!
I am in awe of you and your beauty and sweetness. I can't believe that God blessed me with such a an incredible child. I can remember the day we found out you we were going to have you, and being in disbelief. After a hard pregnancy, I went to the doctor to be checked and they told me that you were going to be coming that night! We couldn't believe it. We went to the hospital and felt scared, jumpy, but mostly overjoyed. I remember how hard it was to get you out of me, and the precious moment when I saw you for the first time and got to kiss your sweet little face. Then they took you and cleaned you up, and brought you back to me after the doctor's checked you and I over to make sure we were going to be ok. You were so quiet, sweet, and alert. I remember when your eyes looked at me, and taking pictures of you and having the family around just in awe of you.
Chloe only a few hours old, March 9, 2010 born at 11:18am
Chloe at 1 year old, March 9, 2011 with her present from mommy & daddy
Chloe at her birthday party last Saturday, March 5
It's been one year since that day, and you have changed so much. It goes so rapidly, I feel like I blink and you are a new child, with some new talent or babble to show us that day! I look at your pictures from one year ago and I can't believe how much you've grown. You are almost walking now, you took two steps on Friday (March 4) You say dada all the time, and have a word that sounds like "duck" for yes. You've started to hum a little tune and love to laugh and imitate mommy. You love your kitties, and the lids of containers to chew on. You have eight teeth, and are eating more and more real people foods. You still like baby food though :) Generally you like most of the foods mommy & daddy give you except you are starting to push green veggies away at times. You know how to sign "more" and "eat", and will come up to us, and point to our mouths to tell us you are hungry! You love your sippy cup of water! I will soon have to stop giving you bottles/formula and binky and I'm not looking forward to it. You LOVE your binky still and whenever you suck on it, you look like a tiny baby again and become cuddly and sleepy. It is our magic sleeping charm ;)
When friends and family come to visit, you just light up when people enter the room! At church though you are sometimes a little shy, preferring to cling to mommy. You cry when I leave you in the nursery, but usually within a minute or two you are very happy and loving to play with all the kids! You are super active, loving to climb the stairs, crawl quickly across the living room and hall. We are so excited when you respond to us, point, and tell us what you like and want and prefer. Your beautiful hair is getting so long, and to me you are perfect in every way.
Chloe, your birth and life has completely changed me and your daddy. We are absolutely smitten with you, and our love for you is so deep, it is hard to describe. We will always always love you, and always be there for you, and be proud of you. I pray to God that you will know Him, and have a relationship with Him, and that the Father will protect your little life from harm. I lift you up into His hands right now, my precious, beautiful daughter.
Ok cloth diapering mommas, comment here and tell me what brand you use, why you chose it, and what your system is for cloth diapering :) I'm not promising I'm going to change, but I'm definitely putting some research into it. I've been looking at fuzzibunz the most, they seem like they would fit our lifestyle the best. The gDiapers seem awesome too and the most convenient, but they are very expensive and don't save a whole lot of money over disposable which is one of the whole reasons I am looking into this (not to mention the environmental reasons, of course :))
My other main hangup is that brian is really not into the idea due to the increased messiness, hassle, etc., (he thinks and I'm not sure). So I don't want to get into something that will relegate me to do most of the diaper cleanups for the rest of our "baby" years. LOL.
I've finally found a book that is allowing me to make more of Chloe's foods. I don't claim that everything is organic, and I don't claim that I will freshly cook EVERYTHING she eats. I still love the foods Gerber (and other baby manufacturers provide) but this has helped stretch me and see that things are DO-ABLE and easy if I have the free moments. Right now in my slow work period I'm able to do more things for Chloe like this and I really like it.
Anyway it's called The Best Homemade Baby Food On the Planet, and it tells me simple combos that I never would have thought of to spice up and vary the foods chloe is getting. Like pumpkin and banana mashed up together, dreamy green beans (frozen to cooked green beans pureed with cream cheese & plain yogurt), etc. So far Chloe is really enjoying this stuff and she is becoming a very good little eater! I even gave her cheerios today which for some reason I've been holding back on (even though she's a pro with the Gerber puffs) just because Cheerios were a bit harder and I was convinced she'd choke on them! yikes.
This book also goes up to toddler-ness with more mature combos and I'm excited for it to help me be creative instead of just giving her applesauce all the time :) I also like it because it tells you the importance of certain things like organic, but it doesn't push or preach it and it says, it's still so good for your baby if you are feeding them healthy foods with a variety and creative combos, and that you are doing it yourself. It is super encouraging and not overwhelming or intimidating!
Did you know that when you have a baby, the hormone changes screw even with your hair? My hair was thick and lush while pregnant, and about 3-4 months post-partum, it started falling out, like CRAZY!! It was a bit scary at first, but I am blessed with thick hair naturally, so it wasn't so bad until I realized I actually had bald spots around my temples!
Well, it's been coming back in now for the last month or two, and it's finally pretty obvious exactly where the majority of the loss was. I'm just happy it's coming back, even though I practically have shag bangs around my whole face. LOL! I knew it was bad when my good friend Kristin goes "what's up with all these little hairs here?" while looking at me. aaah...
Observe the photographic evidence :) (highlights just done by Ellen)
This is a pic of Chloe from a few weeks ago sporting her leg warmers from Danielle & her mac onesie from Christa. Thanks everyone :)
This post will be talking about baby poop. I totally understand if you don't want to read about that, and feel free to "mark as read" or "X out" or disregard, however you choose. But if you do, just say a little prayer for my chloe if you don't mind.
For the last 4-5 days, Chloe has been pooping ... a lot. like 6 times a day. This is very abnormal for her, she usually goes max 2 times, sometimes not at all, but most consistently about 2 times every day. The poop is all different colors & consistencies, I'll spare you the details, but you can tell that something weird is going on in her tummy. I am trying to isolate what could be causing her digestive upset. She doesn't seem to be too uncomfortable or in pain tummy wise except for her poor little raw bum, with her worst diaper rash to date. I took her to the docter because she was crying when we were wiping her... and I felt terrible for her and wanted to figure out the cause. They gave me a perscription, Nizoral cream, for her bum but you have to be careful how much you use it and honestly I'm nervous about using it on her based on the side effects and how delicate her skin is already :( But I'm gonna try for a few more days and see if it helps. So that is 2x a day and the rest of the time I'm trying to be very gentle, wipe with warm wipes, give her a little air and use desitin.
I feel so bad for her..... she just keeps going and going (poo). I cut a lot of her solid food intake back. I wondered if maybe it could be the little baby jar meats (I tried a one of chicken/sweet potatoes & just chicken last week for the first time). Brian is convinced it is. Me after hearing Similac is convinced that there is beetle larvae in the Target Up&Up formula that is her main source of nutrition. I still am breastfeeding in the morning, and this makes me wish I was breastfeeding even more, so I'm trying to maybe build my supply back up a bit so I can get one more nursing in a day and take out one of her formula bottles because usually breastmilk is easier on their systems.
anyway, not a huge thing, I don't think, but still I'm trying to figure it out.
Over the last few weeks, Chloe has begun taking the first of what everyone tells me, many, tumbles. Before we left for Myrtle Beach, I was packing the suitcase on the bed, and Chloe was up there with me. She is now a rolling pro, but I still didn't think she could roll THAT fast. I did what every book tells you not to do, and the thing I rarely EVER do, I walked out of the room while she was on the bed, in the middle surrounded by quilts. Just outside the room after about 10 seconds, I heard the most sickening thud. Then the worst crying and screaming I'd heard from Chloe yet. My heart went from my chest to my toes and I was awash with adrenaline. I ran in to swoop her up, calmly looked her over for injuries and felt her head, then held and comforted her. I quietly took her downstairs while saying "it's ok, I love you, I'm so sorry" and put her in her carseat, almost forgetting her binky, and put her in the car with shaking arms and drove her to the ER. She ended up being completely and totally fine - not even a bump on her! But it was very scary and I felt completely responsible and like a TERRIBLE mother and horribly irresponsible. I now know that this little baby is so fast, and doesn't know her own strength and speed.
On Sunday, when I was walking into church with Chloe on one hip and two bags on the other shoulder, I somehow (still don't really get it) tripped over the curp and fell down on the cement. I honestly don't know how I landed, I just know my body tried to protect Chloe from the fall somehow but she still did bump her head and got a small bruise above her eye. There were many people around which was good and bad. I thrust her into some amazing and helpful man's arms so I could get up (I stil don't know who it was but I want to thank him) and then a variety of people swarmed around me to see if she was ok. I was humiliated and felt horrible and was so scared about how bad that could have been. I believe I definitely took the brunt of that fall, I have a really bad scab and bruise on my elbow and knee and some brushburn on my hand. It really could have been so much worse.
The thought of Chloe getting hurt and me being responsible or not able to protect her is a tough one to deal with, but things will happen despite my best intentions. I have never known love like the love I have for my daughter. Everyone says it, but it is different, it is powerful. Marital and romantic love is beautiful and amazing, but different. I can't explain the need and urge to protect Chloe. It started while she was inside me and I was terrified of doing anything to harm her then.
As Brian says. Chloe is DEFINITELY developing some attachment/separation issues with me. It's at the point now where she's playing, I leave the room and she whines. Sometimes she'll stop after a minute or two cuz she forgets about me, but sometimes it erupts into full-blown crying fits. She is still such a great baby though... she did quite well on our vacation (hope to post pictures of that at some point but we'll see)
She now clings to us when we pick her up... she wraps her little arms around our necks. It is darling and heart-melting.
I think this separation issues are going to be both a blessing and a curse!
I shot a wedding today and I missed her so much. It makes me scared if something were to ever happen to her... how awful it would be to never hold her again. She is so precious to me, the love I have for her is unbelievably big. It's just soooo different then anything else.
This might be TMI for some of you, but for me it was sort of momentous. I just got my first menstrual period since my pregnancy/birth of Chloe in the middle of the night last night (well if you don't count the HUGE period you have right after you give birth, which I do... cuz it's like the worst one ever) but anyway. It was so weird. and of course I got it ON vacation... what the what!! So annoying. But anyway I was shocked. I guess the fact that she's mostly weaned now (I still nurse in the mornings and occasionally at night too) has finally caught up to me. Some women get it sooner.. but it took 6 months. Yeah... my baby is 6 months (but that is a whole other post).
I think it was the moon or the tides here in Myrtle Beach since we're staying right next to the ocean. Who knows. Ugh. I forgot how much periods SUUUCCCKKKK. I did NOT miss these.
This is just gonna be a random mind dump about chloe's day-to-day. I just wanted to get it all out and it was easier to type here then write all out in her baby book. i kind of wish I had a baby site instead of physical baby book but I guess you can't pass that on as much.
Chloe generally sleeps now from anywhere between 10-12 hours a night. It's truly incredible that I have such a great sleeper! She will get tired and cranky around 7:00 pm ...sometimes later. Most of the time at night she gets a bottle or nursing and it puts her right to sleep where we place her in her crib and she stays down! Occasionally she'll wake up around 4ish in the morning which is a bit tough, but I can handle it. I nurse a bit until she falls back asleep, but sometimes she wants to stay awake. we try to be firm that night time is sleep time! Sometimes at this point if she won't go down, Brian will help with his magic touch to get her to go back to sleep :)
When she wakes up in the morning she is usually so cute and happy - smiling and laughing and talking to herself in her crib. One of my favorite things is walking into her room in the morning and seeing her little smiling face. She gets so excited to see us first thing!! We change her diaper and then I usually nurse her for her "breakfast". Sometimes we bring her to bed with us - we are so lucky that we have a little time in the a.m. to spend together some mornings. She is just such a doll in the a.m.!
The rest of the day is spent in various periods of eating, playing, practicing rolling around, smiling, crying and yelling and talking loud. I am still really enjoying breast-feeding chloe - although she has bit me a few times. I really wasn't sure if I'd make it to 6 months, but because I also supplement with a little formula, the demand on me isn't so great and it is truly just a beautiful experience now. It is always available in the wee morning hours, when she is too sad or upset, etc. and can't be comforted by anything else and also sometimes to get her to sleep. I just love it so much - I look at her and just adore her all the time but nursing can be a special time for us! Even bottle feeding is awesome too. She has also tried various fruits & veggies - carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, applesauce, and oatmeal cereal. I've also tried fresh bananas and avacado and she's done great with them. She is an EATER!!
She is rolling and rolling and rolling. She creeps and almost crawls at certain times, but generally she just pushes herself backwards a lot and mainly rolls from place to place. Yesterday she pushed up on her hands & knees and got her chest/stomach off the floor. It was awesome! We are so proud of her.
She doesn't 'giggle' that much... however she does vocalize all the time. But when we can get her to giggle it's the best sound ever!! When she cries she often makes consanent sounds like "mamamaoammmaaaaamaaaaaa" or "baaababaaaaabaaa" and also sometimes when she's awake and happy too, but we're waiting on a litlte more of that. Her cries often go from whines to yells in an instant. it's quite interesting. I think she might be a bit of a whiner...we'll see.
She's super sweet and gives big wet sloppy kisses on my face. I adore it!
I couldn't not post pictures of Chloe today. She has on this new long sleeve onesie and just looks so adorable with her little pink pants. She was making such cute and hilarious faces too! I think the flash was confusing her but she played along quite well :)
Here's a few of my favies:
hehee:
almost completely sitting up by herself now - she can do it for about 15-20 seconds sometimes longer!
this one is a bit out of focus but i love it like this:
this cracks me up:
she's been really into tags lately!
also I finally got a picture where you can kind of see her two front bottom teeth. yay!
and she's learning to kiss. it's hilarious and melts my heart, and also my face gets drenched with drool
I cannot believe this little girl. She is 16 weeks old now and so very vocal. She loves to smile at herself, she must think she's pretty cute. (she's right)
She is doing great on her tummy, but she still gets annoyed after about 5-10 minutes there.
She rolled over last Friday twice in a row from tummy to back, but we haven't been able to get her to repeat it since. Her hair is going NUTs. She loves when Brian or I put her high above our head and sing "Super girl!"
She makes a hilarious pouty face now that cracks me up! (see below)
And she is learning and communicating. I can't wait to hear what her voice will be like one day! I am loving being her mom, struggling with time and how to get into a routine. But she sleeps so well at night, I can't complain about anything. She is an angel baby!
Here are some cute videos of her. The first is at 14 weeks, the second at 15, and the third taken this morning at 16 weeks. Enjoy :)
Chloe is just turning into a little charmer. She smiles and laughs and interacts with us all the time. She is grabbing, playing, and trying so hard to roll over. She enjoys us lifting her up high and playing super-chloe with her! she loves when sing and talk to her. Sometimes she gets so excited she squeels, sucks in her breath and makes this hilarious noise! She has this intense pursing face she does with her lips that I adore. She is sleeping so well at night.... She is just an incredible baby. I am in love with her so much and my family & friends can't get enough of her. I'm not sure if any baby has been so loved and showered with attention. I hope it doesn't mess her up. LOL! I have so many cute videos of her but they take so long to upload, so for now I'll leave you with a beautiful picture I took of her last week. It's so amazing to watch her discovering the world!!
I thought life went fast before... it is nothing compared to now. I cannot believe it has been almost 3 months since Chloe was born and I was pregnant with her. It seems like just yesterday, yet also a lifetime away! Chloe is changing and growing and a lightening speed. It is all so unbelievable. I can't get over her... everyday we are just in awe of how gorgeous she is, how cute, and how special she is.... and how much we love her. The love is like deep, wide, and thick... if that makes sense. It is all encompassing.
We put her in her crib a few weeks ago and she is doing fantastic. She has started "sleeping through the night"... going from stretches of about 9pm to 5am, then growing from 8:30pm to 5:30am, and last night, 8:00pm to 7:00am - that is ELEVEN HOURS. I am in shock. I know it won't happen every night but I am soooo proud of her. And she didn't even nurse or have a bottle directly before bed last night, she actually sort of refused it, so the last time she had eaten was almost 12 hours prior around 7:00. It's insane!
Brian loves his daughter a ton. We often just look at her and marvel at how awesome, beautiful, precious she is to us. He takes a hands on role in paretning, not afraid to tell me his opinions and to tell me to back off, and let him take over. He's sometimes cleans the house while I'm gone on the few errands I run without the baby, and he is giving me countless back massages (my back is totally out of whack from lifting chloe, the baby carrier, and shooting weddings again). I love my husband so much. Our family is so incredible to me!
I've started shooting weddings/working again. It is a whole new ballgame with a child. For three main reasons - 1) I miss her so much for that 8-10 hour stretch I am gone, everytime I see a child I want to grab it. She is on my mind a lot. 2) It is very difficult to juggle it with breastfeeding and not getting a break sometimes. I am not always able to pump and this can become, shall we say, uncomfortable and can also screw with my milk supply for a day or two afterwards. But it is worth it. I've also noticed I'm taking more pictures of children at the weddings .... like my camera is drawn to them! and 3) I can hardly get any editing done during the week because she keeps me hopping. Sometimes she'll nap for an hour or two and I can get some things done, but the house needs to be kept in some semblance of order, dishes and laundry have to be attended to as well. It is tricky to balance, but I love love love Chloe's addition to our lives, it is all worth it. And I am super blessed because I have so many people who can help. My mother who is invaluable to me and loves Chloe so much, my sister and father help out, my Aunt Mary and cousin Rebekah are also helping me too. Another friend Kelly has watched Chloe (and I think really enjoyed it) twice for me without asking for any money. One of my best friends Christy made us another meal yesterday AND cooked one for us in the freezer. Even at almost 3 months, people providing us with food is HUGE. I am so grateful.
In other news our good friends Christie & Bill had their beautiful baby boy Jackson. He is a little peanut and it is so wonderful to be sharing this experience with so many good friends.
I also will have some pictures of Chloe with a few other of my friends babies that I hope to post later. Oh she's starting to pick her head up really well. She still doesn't tolerate her tummy for more then about 10 minutes at a time, but the boppy is helping her.
Also, Amy's wedding is quickly approaching and her shower is coming up. We have a few things to do to get ready but I think it will come together well. I can't believe my little sister is going to be married soon. I am so excited for her!!
May 9, 2010. Chloe was also officially 2 months old on this day!
The joy of my first mother's day was Chloe getting dedicated and dressing her up as my little beauty. She was so good all day and we had a wonderful lunch with both sets of grandparents and her aunty amy & future-uncle-josh. It was a great day. I love my family and my baby girl! Here are some pictures.
When we got home I set her down in this chair for a minute and she just set down with her legs crossed and had this little cute smile/expression. I ran for my camera!!!
