18 weeks, movement??

Yesterday we were 18 weeks pregnant! It's hard to believe. It's going slow and fast, all at the same time, if that is possible. Sometimes I just feel like... come ONNNN lets go, and other times I'm like, lets take this NICE AND SLOW! Anyway...

Right now, as many mothers-to-be are at this stage, I'm sort of obsessed with feeling the baby move. I am starting to get more sure I'm feeling it. Last night was one of the most definitive times... it was almost like 3 nudges within the span of about a minute. It actually flipped me out because it was so defined. And the day before while I was working and playing Bethany Dillon and singing really loud, I had a few nudgy feelings and a flutter or two. It is so exciting and is making it really feel way more real than it has up to this point. I pray it continues and things keep going smoothly. Baby keep moving! :)

18 Weeks Baby!

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound. (Hopefully not, ultrasound Oct 20! :)

What about the mom-to-be? Your cardiovascular system is undergoing dramatic changes, and during this trimester your blood pressure will probably be lower than usual. Don't spring up too fast from a lying or sitting position or you might feel a little dizzy. From now on, when you do lie down, it's best to lie on your side — or at least partly tilted to one side. (When you lie flat on your back, your uterus can compress a major vein, leading to decreased blood return to your heart.) Try placing a pillow behind you or under your hip or upper leg for comfort.

zelda & tychs

The kitties are enjoying the cooler temperatures by cozying up in the house :)

Zelda has been enjoying sitting in the box where I store my business receipts while I work. Ok so these were actually taken a month ago, but she's actually doing it right now while I'm posting!



Tycho just likes to be in the way everywhere and everything :) Including getting up on my beautiful fall decorated mantel and shattering the glass vases. Sigh. I say... see Tycho, this is why we can't have nice things! ;-)



I can't believe how fast fall is passing and winter is approaching. Dave says snow next week possibly. INSANE. These are the days though that I love working from home. Cozy cozy office with cozy kitties!

family updates

Brian's mom Beth, came in for the weekend to spend time with us (well mainly Brian and I was out of town for a wedding) for her late birthday present. It was so good to see her and spend time with her. It was weird that this is the first time we've all seen her since we found out we were pregnant, since my grandma died. Everything sort of seems different now... everything IS different now.

Amy - my amazing sister - is now engaged!! I am so thrilled for her, and I know that her wedding and marriage is going to be beautiful and unique. You can read the story here :) Josh is such a fantastic guy who has a huge heart, and treats my sister amazingly (which is what every big sister wants to see!)

Papa had a third surgery yesterday - this one was to explore the bladder and potentially scrape out any regrowth of cancer. Unfortunately, his bladder cancer is so aggressive, that 80% of the tumors that were removed less than two months ago, have returned. This FREAKS ME OUT and is so insane. They injected some chemotherapy medicine directly into the bladder, and will continue to try this for 6 weeks to see if it can make a dent in the tumors this way. If not, then the next stage will potentially be a surgery to completely remove the bladder, which can be totally brutal and for an 80-something year old man, sigh. I just don't want him to have to go through that. But at the same time, I know Papa wants to do whatever is best to keep his life going, and he seems to have a good outlook and said, let's just trust in God, and put it all in His hands.

The sort of contrast of having one grandmother die in the spring who I wasn't really very close to, then having a grandmother die in June from cancer, just a few weeks before we found out we were pregnant, who I WAS very close to.... and THEN watching my grandpa go through another battle with a different kind of cancer. Then Amy is getting married... and neither grandma will be there. All so fast. I miss my grandma Koos so much sometimes... I just can't believe she is not here. I just think of her and... I wish I could dream more about her to hear her talk to me again. I think we all are still reeling that it happened as fast as it did. I miss her laugh most of all, and how much she loved her family and her kitties. Cancer.. Cancer... Cancer. Death. Life. Cancer. Marriage. Life. Baby. Fear. Family. Cancer. Sickness. Change. Joy. Sorrow. Life. Love. Support. Life. Love.

God's control... God's plan... God's protection... God's arms... God's promise.

In His shadow there is peace
In His arms there is rest
In His word there is hope
In His hands there is grace

In the end... no hurting
In the end... no yearning
In the end... no suffering, no sadness or pain
In the end...

-David Crowder, In the End [O Resplendant Light!]

17 week appointment

Had an appointment today at 17 weeks. All seems well. Heart rate measured in in the 140s! At 8 weeks we were in the 160s so this is a bit interesting! Now everyone is saying "ah, definitely a boy" because of the old wives tales about slow heart rate = boy.

Well we'll know in THREE weeks! October 20th is the big ultrasound. We're trying to figure out if we want to do something special to make finding out the gender more of a surprise, like have the ultrasound tech write it in an envelope and enclose a picture of "the goods" for us, and then we can take it to my parents house later that night, and get brian's parents on Skype to open it all together! Or, we can open it later, just the two of us, so we can react whatever way we want alone together. lol. Who knows, just fun thoughts.

maternity style

My mother-in-law was in this weekend and spoiled me quite a bit with some new maternity items from Motherhood Maternity! I feel like I have a lot of clothes now, so blessed. Maybe just might need another sweater and possibly a winter coat.



She also purchased me an "Snoogle" body pillow - they look goofy, but they are pretty amazing and I'm excited for how it should help me stay a little more comfy as I get bigger, hopefully. And two little baby items... "baby's first tigger" & "baby's first pooh." so cute...



And last week I got a buttload of stuff from Old Navy, they had a big sale. More casual stuff but I love the colors!



Some of all these clothes are too big for me right now, it's so hard to believe in a few months I'll be big enough to fill them out, God-willing!

rough nights

This is sort of health, personal, worry post, so be fore-warned.

Friday & Saturday night as well as last week have been very very rough for me physically with my IBS and pregnancy. I've had a ton of pain, a ton of cramping, and some pretty severe attacks. Last week I got really weird with food again, not eating even close to as much as I have been... naseauted half-way through my meals and feeling not in the mood for anything. I thought at 16 weeks I'd be past that. Some of my cramping last week felt uterine as well, and some of it was higher in my stomach as well as lower in my intestines. At one point I had to leave a dinner with some friends because I was in so much pain.

If you could pray for me that the pain would decrease and my attacks would slow down. My doctor thought I'd be feeling better than this in a few weeks (at my last appt at 13 weeks) so I'm frustrated because I'm actually feeling worse. The pain can get to me really badly emotionally so I start to get fearful and worried again... and feeling that is almost worse than the pain. I am trying so hard to trust in God that he is protecting our child. I still need help with trust.

I haven't been able to determine yet if I'm feeling the baby move yet or if I'm just having so much intestinal distress. I thought at this point all that stuff would be pushed out of the way and I'd be able to clearly tell where the baby is and when it's moving. I feel a bit embarrassed when people touch my stomach right now, because its not really baby quite yet... I mean it is, but most of the time they're all just touching my fat belly. Ugh. And some ask me tons of questions like "how is baby lusky" because all I can say is... I assume totally fine but not quite sure :) The questions do get a bit exhausting. Maybe it's better if everyone reads the blog, then I don't have to field quite so many questions. LOL.

Anyway - appt on Tuesday at 17 weeks with the midwife so I always get excited and nervous about this, but mostly excited. Thanks for the prayers!

Belly Shots

I've been taking these but not posting them, so here you go. Honestly, not a huge ton of difference over the last 3 weeks. I think I've gained 1 pound over this time period according to my scale/records. Also, wow I need to get my roots done!




And - today.