Life keeps chugging along

I thought life went fast before... it is nothing compared to now. I cannot believe it has been almost 3 months since Chloe was born and I was pregnant with her. It seems like just yesterday, yet also a lifetime away! Chloe is changing and growing and a lightening speed. It is all so unbelievable. I can't get over her... everyday we are just in awe of how gorgeous she is, how cute, and how special she is.... and how much we love her. The love is like deep, wide, and thick... if that makes sense. It is all encompassing.



We put her in her crib a few weeks ago and she is doing fantastic. She has started "sleeping through the night"... going from stretches of about 9pm to 5am, then growing from 8:30pm to 5:30am, and last night, 8:00pm to 7:00am - that is ELEVEN HOURS. I am in shock. I know it won't happen every night but I am soooo proud of her. And she didn't even nurse or have a bottle directly before bed last night, she actually sort of refused it, so the last time she had eaten was almost 12 hours prior around 7:00. It's insane!





Brian loves his daughter a ton. We often just look at her and marvel at how awesome, beautiful, precious she is to us. He takes a hands on role in paretning, not afraid to tell me his opinions and to tell me to back off, and let him take over. He's sometimes cleans the house while I'm gone on the few errands I run without the baby, and he is giving me countless back massages (my back is totally out of whack from lifting chloe, the baby carrier, and shooting weddings again). I love my husband so much. Our family is so incredible to me!



I've started shooting weddings/working again. It is a whole new ballgame with a child. For three main reasons - 1) I miss her so much for that 8-10 hour stretch I am gone, everytime I see a child I want to grab it. She is on my mind a lot. 2) It is very difficult to juggle it with breastfeeding and not getting a break sometimes. I am not always able to pump and this can become, shall we say, uncomfortable and can also screw with my milk supply for a day or two afterwards. But it is worth it. I've also noticed I'm taking more pictures of children at the weddings .... like my camera is drawn to them! and 3) I can hardly get any editing done during the week because she keeps me hopping. Sometimes she'll nap for an hour or two and I can get some things done, but the house needs to be kept in some semblance of order, dishes and laundry have to be attended to as well. It is tricky to balance, but I love love love Chloe's addition to our lives, it is all worth it. And I am super blessed because I have so many people who can help. My mother who is invaluable to me and loves Chloe so much, my sister and father help out, my Aunt Mary and cousin Rebekah are also helping me too. Another friend Kelly has watched Chloe (and I think really enjoyed it) twice for me without asking for any money. One of my best friends Christy made us another meal yesterday AND cooked one for us in the freezer. Even at almost 3 months, people providing us with food is HUGE. I am so grateful.







In other news our good friends Christie & Bill had their beautiful baby boy Jackson. He is a little peanut and it is so wonderful to be sharing this experience with so many good friends.



I also will have some pictures of Chloe with a few other of my friends babies that I hope to post later. Oh she's starting to pick her head up really well. She still doesn't tolerate her tummy for more then about 10 minutes at a time, but the boppy is helping her.



Also, Amy's wedding is quickly approaching and her shower is coming up. We have a few things to do to get ready but I think it will come together well. I can't believe my little sister is going to be married soon. I am so excited for her!!

And here's a video of chloe being adorable:

chloe's dedication & my first mother's day

May 9, 2010. Chloe was also officially 2 months old on this day!



The joy of my first mother's day was Chloe getting dedicated and dressing her up as my little beauty. She was so good all day and we had a wonderful lunch with both sets of grandparents and her aunty amy & future-uncle-josh. It was a great day. I love my family and my baby girl! Here are some pictures.











When we got home I set her down in this chair for a minute and she just set down with her legs crossed and had this little cute smile/expression. I ran for my camera!!!

chloe is 8 weeks... thats like 2 months. woah.

As you can see, Chloe's expressions are keeping us on our toes, laughing and warming our hearts! She is smiling much of the day, and just being such a little dear! She is reacting to our faces, voices, and kicking and playing during her active times. She loves to lay on her back, look around and kick kick and squeal. We are still working on tummy time - we force her to do it for a few times a day as long as she can tolerate it, and she's getting better. The last 2 days I've noticed her right on her side at least 3 times. I think rolling over is soon to follow!



Chloe has had a few great sleeping nights... May 2, she slept from 9:30pm till 4:00am, had one feeding, then went back to sleep in the co-sleeper from 5:00am-8:00am. It was the best night of sleep we've had since she was born! Last night wasn't quite as good, but still not too bad. We're getting there! I think we're going to move her into sleeping in her own room and crib in the next week or two here. I'm kind of dreading it though because breastfeeding is sooo much easier when I don't have to get out of bed - although to be honest, I end up out of bed usually to take a potty break! :)

Mom and dad (thats us) are doing great. I am adjusting to this little girl now, the changes, and just loving her and life. I can't believe I've been blessed with this adorable sweetie. I often look at her and cuddle her and think - she is literally the most beautiful baby I've ever seen! I'm sure every parent thinks that about their child though ;)

I bought a few new toys, a new nursing cover I love and a gorgeous Mei Tai carrier - I will post about them another time.

chloe's birth annoucement

Sent out more than we could afford... if you didn't receive on printed, here it is for the world to see! I love my little darling!

Chloe at 6 weeks

I had my 6 week checkup today and all looks good. It was so wonderful to see my midwife again and all the people that were with me through my whole pregnancy. It's almost weird to NOT be going there every week because you are there so much during the end of the pregnancy. I love those midwives, especially Peggy Boyd at Erie Women's Health Partners. I highly recommend her. I trusted her to make the right decisions for me and for Chloe and we are both recovered and healthy now... and I attribute a lot of that to the care I received there. I decided with her and my PCP's advice to get back on Zoloft now before I get too overwhelmed, and be ready to start work again in May (shooting weddings). She thought it was a really smart decision. Being a mom is HARD and I find myself snapping a little at people sometimes when I am very tired. I am not ashamed that I need a little help to cope!

Everyone was going nuts over Chloe today. She is definitely filling out - at her 1 month appointment she was 10 lbs (last week) 75 percentile for her weight and 21.25 inches (gained a quarter inch) 50th percentile for height. Her infant acne has really gone down and her beautiful skin is returning! Her clogged tear duct also seems to have stopped too which is fantastic! I am so excited to see her adjusting to life.

Here is a video of her at 6 weeks. After this she started crying pretty inconsolably ... so its not all giggles all the time ;-)


Love this girl!!

sleeping

This whole sleeping thing is so weird. Getting on baby's schedule, while trying to slowly mold her a bit more to ours. We've had a pretty good week so far - 3 out of teh four nights she's slept 6-7 hours at a time from around 9:30 to 3:30 ish, its been truly amazing. I didn't believe she could do it, but Brian was convinced so we started putting her down in the co-sleeper a little earlier... usually she falls asleep on her own but 2 nights I had to rock her to sleep (which only takes about 10 minutes) after her last feeding. Chloe is so funny when she's trying to wake herself up out of that deep sleep, she makes so many grunting noises... she stretches and squeals and sucks her fingers as she realizes how long its been since she ate!

I seriously think one of the secrets is the Halo SleepSack, Swaddle - We use it almost every night as her "blanket" and it keep her warm and cozy. I know eventually we won't be able to swaddle her arms in... but for now its working really well. Its a bit of a pain to get her out of it but worth it for the sound sleep she seems to get in it. I have a few other "sleep bags" that don't have the swaddle aspect so soon we will try those at night.

So we are hoping this pattern continues. I am really enjoying sleeping in the same room with her in the co-sleeper, it gives me so much peace and security to just lean over and know she is safe and warm with us. But at the same time I don't sleep as soundly, especially around the 5 hour mark I usually wake up and just wait and watch for her to wake up for 45 minutes. And when she makes noises they wake me up. The SIDs guidelines say baby should stay in the room with you for at least the first 6 months. I don't think that we will be able to do it that long though... I was thinking at the end of this month to start putting her in her crib. It certainlymakes it easier to nurse her when she is right there. Well... we will come to a decision.

Anyway... things are pretty good. I really hurt my back yesterday... doing nothing, I think I irritated it trying out different baby carriers the 2 days previous. So this is not good and is making it hard... I've had to ask for help from friends and family to come and help me with Chloe because sometimes my back hurts SO much I feel like I'm going to drop the baby.

I've started doing some work again for my old employer which is great but is making things quite hairy!

Oh also... we finally bit the bullet and got a new (used) car. We've been driving beaters for so long, it was time... things fell into place. Although I hate having a car payment again (its been a few years for us), it is worth it. This car rocks! It's a 2006 Hyundai Santa Fe.

chloe is almost 1 month old!

This picture is when my mom and I took Chloe on her first walk. lol!



To say everything has changed... is an understatement. I never realized how completely different "pregnancy" is from having the baby - i mean, its a new world. It's like a new level. Chloe is beautiful and sweet, and yet she has her trying moments. Our house has moments of peacefulness and sometimes moments of chaos! I'm starting to go out again and do things, take her with me, and deal with consequences. The visits and meals have trailed off, things are starting to form our own normalcy. It was such a huge help having all those and people have been insanely generous with gifts. At the same time, seeing so many people and doing mild entertaining was overwhelming. Brian is off for 3 days this week and we are still having trouble getting things that are non-chloe-related done (i.e., sending in our estimated quarter 1 tax payments, looking for a new car, ehem... cleaning... lol)



Breastfeeding has been a challenge, then other times its just totally simple and natural. I struggle the most with being in public with it... thankfully our church has a parents room and a nursing mothers room because I pretty much can't get through an entire church service/experience which goes around 2+ hours including travel without feeding Chloe. It's hard because I want to do this for my baby, but I hate making anyone uncomfortable... but this is absolutely the best thing I can do for her right now, and I am committed to making it work as long as I can. I have moments where I'm like - I will definitely do this for at least 6 months, then moments where I'm like... ok... I just want to make it to three months. I'm starting to get nervous about returning to "work" in a little over a month - shooting my first wedding may 15 and what that will mean for our "routine" which is barely a routine really. Pumping is hard, and I hate it. It makes me feel demeaned and unnatural. lol. . . but its necessary for me to have any semblence of freedom at all!



Aside from those new tough moments - I can't believe how much I love this little one. When I see her my heart warms, I feel everything inside me open up to receive and nurture her. I struggle to let her cry for more then a few minutes without my heart breaking! I feel like she does know me already in a lot of ways, and she has different responses to me when I pick her up vs. others, and that is satisfying although I know it is instinctual :)



She is starting to make little smiling faces which just melt my heart and everyone elses (including daddy and grandma's) :-) Thanks to the heat though, or just baby-dum, she has developed some intense breakouts on her face and on her neck. I feel bad for her... she also has a clogged tear duct which some days is super goopy and gross and other days looks totally normal. We have a 1 month appt on Friday so we are going to investigate these things!



I will try to post a little more frequently... I did take some pictures for Easter and had her in a few cute but stylish outfits that I wanted to show off. :) My next endeavor is to try to get her flipping birth announcements done! It's sooo hard to get to this kind of stuff! I can't believe how much longer things take now! lol :)