7 monthish update

Chloe is feeling much better now. We believe it was some sort of 7-10 virus, because that is the exact length of time the tummy disturbance seemed to last. Her little bum got so bad we took her back to the doctor a second time. We were doing a strict regimen of clean off, let dry (some major air time for her tushy) then what I called her "butt frosting" - a layer of antibiotic, then lotrimin, then desitin max. I am happy to say her skin is almost completely healed now... just sort of a light pink tint where all the damage was. She is feeling so much better and seems to be back to normal.

In other news I tried peach baby yogurt for her today and she almost threw up. She was WRETCHING. It was funny and also I felt bad. So we stuck to her harvest vegetable blend with cereal. She seems to love veggies more then fruits at this point... I hope it lasts but I'm sure it won't!

I have so many new pics of her I posted on FB... too many to put all here, so I will just put up a few of my favorites.

More here if you can see this link: facebook

We did dress her up for Halloween - it was an Old Navy costume of a butterfly. We took her to zoo boo...which is semi pointless for kids under 1 year of age, but it was cute to see her dressed up. She seemed mainly bored, but she was very good.

chloe typed this:

mm innivy fcggff

upset tummy

This is a pic of Chloe from a few weeks ago sporting her leg warmers from Danielle & her mac onesie from Christa. Thanks everyone :)

This post will be talking about baby poop. I totally understand if you don't want to read about that, and feel free to "mark as read" or "X out" or disregard, however you choose. But if you do, just say a little prayer for my chloe if you don't mind.

For the last 4-5 days, Chloe has been pooping ... a lot. like 6 times a day. This is very abnormal for her, she usually goes max 2 times, sometimes not at all, but most consistently about 2 times every day. The poop is all different colors & consistencies, I'll spare you the details, but you can tell that something weird is going on in her tummy. I am trying to isolate what could be causing her digestive upset. She doesn't seem to be too uncomfortable or in pain tummy wise except for her poor little raw bum, with her worst diaper rash to date. I took her to the docter because she was crying when we were wiping her... and I felt terrible for her and wanted to figure out the cause. They gave me a perscription, Nizoral cream, for her bum but you have to be careful how much you use it and honestly I'm nervous about using it on her based on the side effects and how delicate her skin is already :( But I'm gonna try for a few more days and see if it helps. So that is 2x a day and the rest of the time I'm trying to be very gentle, wipe with warm wipes, give her a little air and use desitin.

I feel so bad for her..... she just keeps going and going (poo). I cut a lot of her solid food intake back. I wondered if maybe it could be the little baby jar meats (I tried a one of chicken/sweet potatoes & just chicken last week for the first time). Brian is convinced it is. Me after hearing Similac is convinced that there is beetle larvae in the Target Up&Up formula that is her main source of nutrition. I still am breastfeeding in the morning, and this makes me wish I was breastfeeding even more, so I'm trying to maybe build my supply back up a bit so I can get one more nursing in a day and take out one of her formula bottles because usually breastmilk is easier on their systems.

anyway, not a huge thing, I don't think, but still I'm trying to figure it out.

--this mommy wishes she knew the answers--

bumps & bruises

Over the last few weeks, Chloe has begun taking the first of what everyone tells me, many, tumbles. Before we left for Myrtle Beach, I was packing the suitcase on the bed, and Chloe was up there with me. She is now a rolling pro, but I still didn't think she could roll THAT fast. I did what every book tells you not to do, and the thing I rarely EVER do, I walked out of the room while she was on the bed, in the middle surrounded by quilts. Just outside the room after about 10 seconds, I heard the most sickening thud. Then the worst crying and screaming I'd heard from Chloe yet. My heart went from my chest to my toes and I was awash with adrenaline. I ran in to swoop her up, calmly looked her over for injuries and felt her head, then held and comforted her. I quietly took her downstairs while saying "it's ok, I love you, I'm so sorry" and put her in her carseat, almost forgetting her binky, and put her in the car with shaking arms and drove her to the ER. She ended up being completely and totally fine - not even a bump on her! But it was very scary and I felt completely responsible and like a TERRIBLE mother and horribly irresponsible. I now know that this little baby is so fast, and doesn't know her own strength and speed.

On Sunday, when I was walking into church with Chloe on one hip and two bags on the other shoulder, I somehow (still don't really get it) tripped over the curp and fell down on the cement. I honestly don't know how I landed, I just know my body tried to protect Chloe from the fall somehow but she still did bump her head and got a small bruise above her eye. There were many people around which was good and bad. I thrust her into some amazing and helpful man's arms so I could get up (I stil don't know who it was but I want to thank him) and then a variety of people swarmed around me to see if she was ok. I was humiliated and felt horrible and was so scared about how bad that could have been. I believe I definitely took the brunt of that fall, I have a really bad scab and bruise on my elbow and knee and some brushburn on my hand. It really could have been so much worse.

The thought of Chloe getting hurt and me being responsible or not able to protect her is a tough one to deal with, but things will happen despite my best intentions. I have never known love like the love I have for my daughter. Everyone says it, but it is different, it is powerful. Marital and romantic love is beautiful and amazing, but different. I can't explain the need and urge to protect Chloe. It started while she was inside me and I was terrified of doing anything to harm her then.

My little Chlo-bear... she is my angel.

Win an Ergo Carrier!

I've always wanted an ERGO carrier for Chloe but never had the funds to get one. Here is a sweet contest for one! To qualify you have to post the link around everywhere so that's what I'm gonna do :)

http://www.heavenlyhold.com/pages/contest.htm

ERGO............. you should pick me! :)

TARGET Fall 2010 Advertisement featuring BLOGSPOT by Paul and The Patients

The song in this ad is by my cousin Paul. It fits so perfectly! I am trying to get this out there so it gets around :) Enjoy and share! can't wait to see it on tv.

"healthy attachment"

As Brian says. Chloe is DEFINITELY developing some attachment/separation issues with me. It's at the point now where she's playing, I leave the room and she whines. Sometimes she'll stop after a minute or two cuz she forgets about me, but sometimes it erupts into full-blown crying fits. She is still such a great baby though... she did quite well on our vacation (hope to post pictures of that at some point but we'll see)



She now clings to us when we pick her up... she wraps her little arms around our necks. It is darling and heart-melting.

I think this separation issues are going to be both a blessing and a curse!

I shot a wedding today and I missed her so much. It makes me scared if something were to ever happen to her... how awful it would be to never hold her again. She is so precious to me, the love I have for her is unbelievably big. It's just soooo different then anything else.

girly post

This might be TMI for some of you, but for me it was sort of momentous. I just got my first menstrual period since my pregnancy/birth of Chloe in the middle of the night last night (well if you don't count the HUGE period you have right after you give birth, which I do... cuz it's like the worst one ever) but anyway. It was so weird. and of course I got it ON vacation... what the what!! So annoying. But anyway I was shocked. I guess the fact that she's mostly weaned now (I still nurse in the mornings and occasionally at night too) has finally caught up to me. Some women get it sooner.. but it took 6 months. Yeah... my baby is 6 months (but that is a whole other post).

I think it was the moon or the tides here in Myrtle Beach since we're staying right next to the ocean. Who knows. Ugh. I forgot how much periods SUUUCCCKKKK. I did NOT miss these.

k bye.