making chloe's food

I've finally found a book that is allowing me to make more of Chloe's foods. I don't claim that everything is organic, and I don't claim that I will freshly cook EVERYTHING she eats. I still love the foods Gerber (and other baby manufacturers provide) but this has helped stretch me and see that things are DO-ABLE and easy if I have the free moments. Right now in my slow work period I'm able to do more things for Chloe like this and I really like it.

Anyway it's called The Best Homemade Baby Food On the Planet, and it tells me simple combos that I never would have thought of to spice up and vary the foods chloe is getting. Like pumpkin and banana mashed up together, dreamy green beans (frozen to cooked green beans pureed with cream cheese & plain yogurt), etc. So far Chloe is really enjoying this stuff and she is becoming a very good little eater! I even gave her cheerios today which for some reason I've been holding back on (even though she's a pro with the Gerber puffs) just because Cheerios were a bit harder and I was convinced she'd choke on them! yikes.

This book also goes up to toddler-ness with more mature combos and I'm excited for it to help me be creative instead of just giving her applesauce all the time :) I also like it because it tells you the importance of certain things like organic, but it doesn't push or preach it and it says, it's still so good for your baby if you are feeding them healthy foods with a variety and creative combos, and that you are doing it yourself. It is super encouraging and not overwhelming or intimidating!

Merry Christmas & Boxing Day :)

We love when Chloe laughs like this - she doesn't do it every day, but that Paul-pa with his silliness can bring it out!

merry christmas from us!

In lieu of paper cards this year, mainly because we don't have the $$ to send a christmas card to everyone of you in the mail since we love you all so much, I designed a little digital one for the world.

We love you all, and have had an incredible year, with the birth of our daughter Chloe our lives have been totally changed for the better. She is our light and laughter, and the joy of both of our families! My sister got married this year to an awesome young man, Josh, and we are so happy to have him in our family. We were blessed enough to take a trip to Myrtle Beach with Brian's family in september, and then to Maryland for Thanksgiving with Chloe where she ate her first thanksgiving treats :) Chloe is growing and learning and we are just trying to hang on for the ride! 2010 saw a great year of business for Rachel's business, Puremotif, as well, and is set for some big changes in 2011 and I can't wait to annouce them and show you our new look! Brian saw a lot of changes at Grace this year as well, and has begun preaching more and accepting new responsibilities as a Pastor.

We couldn't have asked for more and are so thankful for all the ways that our friends and family have been near us, reached out to us, and helped us during our first year as parents!

hair loss

Did you know that when you have a baby, the hormone changes screw even with your hair? My hair was thick and lush while pregnant, and about 3-4 months post-partum, it started falling out, like CRAZY!! It was a bit scary at first, but I am blessed with thick hair naturally, so it wasn't so bad until I realized I actually had bald spots around my temples!

Well, it's been coming back in now for the last month or two, and it's finally pretty obvious exactly where the majority of the loss was. I'm just happy it's coming back, even though I practically have shag bangs around my whole face. LOL! I knew it was bad when my good friend Kristin goes "what's up with all these little hairs here?" while looking at me. aaah...

Observe the photographic evidence :) (highlights just done by Ellen)

Happier Post - Thanksgiving!

We had so much fun in Maryland for Thanksgiving. She just loved being there, and loved having grandma & grandpa lusky around all the time. She also loved Daisy!! I have a ton of pictures and posted a bunch on Facebook so you can check them out there. Here are a few favorites.

tummy upsets

This post is about gross tummy stuff, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.

So, I'm pretty sure Chloe doesn't like pasta. I tried to give her a few cooked pieces. I put it in her mouth and her face turned sour, she started gagging, and proceeded to vomit and wretch all over the high chair.

The last few days have been rough around our house. Chloe caught some sort of stomach virus on Tuesday and has been throwing up and had diarrhea (not too severe, but definitely not herself). Then I caught it yesterday (mild form) and was not feeling great Thursday. Luckily I had a lot of help because I was sooo weak.

Did I ever tell you I have a fear of throwing up? Because I do. But I'm handling my daughter's puking surprisingly well (so far). It's amazing how you just spring into action. Maybe we've started to be trained because of all the spit up?

(unrelated picture)

thanksgiving for chloe

I will have more pictures later, but Chloe is doing awesome in MD for Thanksgiving. She is just a doll and the star of the show! I will have more pics later of her enjoying mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and some cranberries :) I brought a point&shoot camera... its not great though so i'm not really happy with my pictures of her with family members but that's the price i pay for not wanting to cart around the big one!

8 MONTHS!!!

I have no pictures tonight, but wanted to just quickly put out there chloe's stats.

She has been sick with a cold/sinus/thing and it's been very hard. But when she is awake and not miserable, she's been soooo happy and mobile, developing leaps and bounds! We took her to the doctor last week and she was 21 lbs and 4 oz.

Some new talents:

- eating gerber puffs, some finger foods, and starting to be able to feed herself a little bit

- usually can hold her own bottle and sippy cup pretty well!

- starting to cruise along the furniture when standing with support, she is pulling herself up on everything, which is making for lots more tumbles these days.

- crawling, fast, and like a pro!

- she has FINALLY started babbling like all "the books" say she should, especially in the last 3 days. She used to only say "aaaaaaah... pbttttt" (that's ahhh, with a raspberry blown at the end) but now we're hearing:

"aaaaahbabab baa mamaga, wau wuh wuh duhduh"

(etc., you get it, consanent sounds).

- we bought a bigger car seat (halfway thanks to my Aunt Mary, she is the best) because she is quickly growing out of her infant carrier!

- Oh and also - she is getting 3 more teeth up top!! They are looking pretty in charge up there. haha.

It is SOOOO cute! I have a feeling that pretty soon we aren't going to be able to shut her up!

7 monthish update

Chloe is feeling much better now. We believe it was some sort of 7-10 virus, because that is the exact length of time the tummy disturbance seemed to last. Her little bum got so bad we took her back to the doctor a second time. We were doing a strict regimen of clean off, let dry (some major air time for her tushy) then what I called her "butt frosting" - a layer of antibiotic, then lotrimin, then desitin max. I am happy to say her skin is almost completely healed now... just sort of a light pink tint where all the damage was. She is feeling so much better and seems to be back to normal.

In other news I tried peach baby yogurt for her today and she almost threw up. She was WRETCHING. It was funny and also I felt bad. So we stuck to her harvest vegetable blend with cereal. She seems to love veggies more then fruits at this point... I hope it lasts but I'm sure it won't!

I have so many new pics of her I posted on FB... too many to put all here, so I will just put up a few of my favorites.

More here if you can see this link: facebook

We did dress her up for Halloween - it was an Old Navy costume of a butterfly. We took her to zoo boo...which is semi pointless for kids under 1 year of age, but it was cute to see her dressed up. She seemed mainly bored, but she was very good.

chloe typed this:

mm innivy fcggff

upset tummy

This is a pic of Chloe from a few weeks ago sporting her leg warmers from Danielle & her mac onesie from Christa. Thanks everyone :)

This post will be talking about baby poop. I totally understand if you don't want to read about that, and feel free to "mark as read" or "X out" or disregard, however you choose. But if you do, just say a little prayer for my chloe if you don't mind.

For the last 4-5 days, Chloe has been pooping ... a lot. like 6 times a day. This is very abnormal for her, she usually goes max 2 times, sometimes not at all, but most consistently about 2 times every day. The poop is all different colors & consistencies, I'll spare you the details, but you can tell that something weird is going on in her tummy. I am trying to isolate what could be causing her digestive upset. She doesn't seem to be too uncomfortable or in pain tummy wise except for her poor little raw bum, with her worst diaper rash to date. I took her to the docter because she was crying when we were wiping her... and I felt terrible for her and wanted to figure out the cause. They gave me a perscription, Nizoral cream, for her bum but you have to be careful how much you use it and honestly I'm nervous about using it on her based on the side effects and how delicate her skin is already :( But I'm gonna try for a few more days and see if it helps. So that is 2x a day and the rest of the time I'm trying to be very gentle, wipe with warm wipes, give her a little air and use desitin.

I feel so bad for her..... she just keeps going and going (poo). I cut a lot of her solid food intake back. I wondered if maybe it could be the little baby jar meats (I tried a one of chicken/sweet potatoes & just chicken last week for the first time). Brian is convinced it is. Me after hearing Similac is convinced that there is beetle larvae in the Target Up&Up formula that is her main source of nutrition. I still am breastfeeding in the morning, and this makes me wish I was breastfeeding even more, so I'm trying to maybe build my supply back up a bit so I can get one more nursing in a day and take out one of her formula bottles because usually breastmilk is easier on their systems.

anyway, not a huge thing, I don't think, but still I'm trying to figure it out.

--this mommy wishes she knew the answers--

bumps & bruises

Over the last few weeks, Chloe has begun taking the first of what everyone tells me, many, tumbles. Before we left for Myrtle Beach, I was packing the suitcase on the bed, and Chloe was up there with me. She is now a rolling pro, but I still didn't think she could roll THAT fast. I did what every book tells you not to do, and the thing I rarely EVER do, I walked out of the room while she was on the bed, in the middle surrounded by quilts. Just outside the room after about 10 seconds, I heard the most sickening thud. Then the worst crying and screaming I'd heard from Chloe yet. My heart went from my chest to my toes and I was awash with adrenaline. I ran in to swoop her up, calmly looked her over for injuries and felt her head, then held and comforted her. I quietly took her downstairs while saying "it's ok, I love you, I'm so sorry" and put her in her carseat, almost forgetting her binky, and put her in the car with shaking arms and drove her to the ER. She ended up being completely and totally fine - not even a bump on her! But it was very scary and I felt completely responsible and like a TERRIBLE mother and horribly irresponsible. I now know that this little baby is so fast, and doesn't know her own strength and speed.

On Sunday, when I was walking into church with Chloe on one hip and two bags on the other shoulder, I somehow (still don't really get it) tripped over the curp and fell down on the cement. I honestly don't know how I landed, I just know my body tried to protect Chloe from the fall somehow but she still did bump her head and got a small bruise above her eye. There were many people around which was good and bad. I thrust her into some amazing and helpful man's arms so I could get up (I stil don't know who it was but I want to thank him) and then a variety of people swarmed around me to see if she was ok. I was humiliated and felt horrible and was so scared about how bad that could have been. I believe I definitely took the brunt of that fall, I have a really bad scab and bruise on my elbow and knee and some brushburn on my hand. It really could have been so much worse.

The thought of Chloe getting hurt and me being responsible or not able to protect her is a tough one to deal with, but things will happen despite my best intentions. I have never known love like the love I have for my daughter. Everyone says it, but it is different, it is powerful. Marital and romantic love is beautiful and amazing, but different. I can't explain the need and urge to protect Chloe. It started while she was inside me and I was terrified of doing anything to harm her then.

My little Chlo-bear... she is my angel.

Win an Ergo Carrier!

I've always wanted an ERGO carrier for Chloe but never had the funds to get one. Here is a sweet contest for one! To qualify you have to post the link around everywhere so that's what I'm gonna do :)

http://www.heavenlyhold.com/pages/contest.htm

ERGO............. you should pick me! :)

TARGET Fall 2010 Advertisement featuring BLOGSPOT by Paul and The Patients

The song in this ad is by my cousin Paul. It fits so perfectly! I am trying to get this out there so it gets around :) Enjoy and share! can't wait to see it on tv.

"healthy attachment"

As Brian says. Chloe is DEFINITELY developing some attachment/separation issues with me. It's at the point now where she's playing, I leave the room and she whines. Sometimes she'll stop after a minute or two cuz she forgets about me, but sometimes it erupts into full-blown crying fits. She is still such a great baby though... she did quite well on our vacation (hope to post pictures of that at some point but we'll see)



She now clings to us when we pick her up... she wraps her little arms around our necks. It is darling and heart-melting.

I think this separation issues are going to be both a blessing and a curse!

I shot a wedding today and I missed her so much. It makes me scared if something were to ever happen to her... how awful it would be to never hold her again. She is so precious to me, the love I have for her is unbelievably big. It's just soooo different then anything else.

girly post

This might be TMI for some of you, but for me it was sort of momentous. I just got my first menstrual period since my pregnancy/birth of Chloe in the middle of the night last night (well if you don't count the HUGE period you have right after you give birth, which I do... cuz it's like the worst one ever) but anyway. It was so weird. and of course I got it ON vacation... what the what!! So annoying. But anyway I was shocked. I guess the fact that she's mostly weaned now (I still nurse in the mornings and occasionally at night too) has finally caught up to me. Some women get it sooner.. but it took 6 months. Yeah... my baby is 6 months (but that is a whole other post).

I think it was the moon or the tides here in Myrtle Beach since we're staying right next to the ocean. Who knows. Ugh. I forgot how much periods SUUUCCCKKKK. I did NOT miss these.

k bye.

day-to-day

This is just gonna be a random mind dump about chloe's day-to-day. I just wanted to get it all out and it was easier to type here then write all out in her baby book. i kind of wish I had a baby site instead of physical baby book but I guess you can't pass that on as much.

Chloe generally sleeps now from anywhere between 10-12 hours a night. It's truly incredible that I have such a great sleeper! She will get tired and cranky around 7:00 pm ...sometimes later. Most of the time at night she gets a bottle or nursing and it puts her right to sleep where we place her in her crib and she stays down! Occasionally she'll wake up around 4ish in the morning which is a bit tough, but I can handle it. I nurse a bit until she falls back asleep, but sometimes she wants to stay awake. we try to be firm that night time is sleep time! Sometimes at this point if she won't go down, Brian will help with his magic touch to get her to go back to sleep :)

When she wakes up in the morning she is usually so cute and happy - smiling and laughing and talking to herself in her crib. One of my favorite things is walking into her room in the morning and seeing her little smiling face. She gets so excited to see us first thing!! We change her diaper and then I usually nurse her for her "breakfast". Sometimes we bring her to bed with us - we are so lucky that we have a little time in the a.m. to spend together some mornings. She is just such a doll in the a.m.!

The rest of the day is spent in various periods of eating, playing, practicing rolling around, smiling, crying and yelling and talking loud. I am still really enjoying breast-feeding chloe - although she has bit me a few times. I really wasn't sure if I'd make it to 6 months, but because I also supplement with a little formula, the demand on me isn't so great and it is truly just a beautiful experience now. It is always available in the wee morning hours, when she is too sad or upset, etc. and can't be comforted by anything else and also sometimes to get her to sleep. I just love it so much - I look at her and just adore her all the time but nursing can be a special time for us! Even bottle feeding is awesome too. She has also tried various fruits & veggies - carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, pears, applesauce, and oatmeal cereal. I've also tried fresh bananas and avacado and she's done great with them. She is an EATER!!

She is rolling and rolling and rolling. She creeps and almost crawls at certain times, but generally she just pushes herself backwards a lot and mainly rolls from place to place. Yesterday she pushed up on her hands & knees and got her chest/stomach off the floor. It was awesome! We are so proud of her.

She doesn't 'giggle' that much... however she does vocalize all the time. But when we can get her to giggle it's the best sound ever!! When she cries she often makes consanent sounds like "mamamaoammmaaaaamaaaaaa" or "baaababaaaaabaaa" and also sometimes when she's awake and happy too, but we're waiting on a litlte more of that. Her cries often go from whines to yells in an instant. it's quite interesting. I think she might be a bit of a whiner...we'll see.

She's super sweet and gives big wet sloppy kisses on my face. I adore it!

She's almost SIX MONTHS OLD!!

sooo cute

I couldn't not post pictures of Chloe today. She has on this new long sleeve onesie and just looks so adorable with her little pink pants. She was making such cute and hilarious faces too! I think the flash was confusing her but she played along quite well :)

Here's a few of my favies:

hehee:



almost completely sitting up by herself now - she can do it for about 15-20 seconds sometimes longer!



this one is a bit out of focus but i love it like this:



this cracks me up:



she's been really into tags lately!



also I finally got a picture where you can kind of see her two front bottom teeth. yay!



and she's learning to kiss. it's hilarious and melts my heart, and also my face gets drenched with drool




See more here on flickr.

chloe is 5 months

It is seriously so hard for me to keep up with this blog anymore. I honestly don'tk now how regular bloggers do it. I think because I am a photographer and deal with hundreds of photos everyday, I get sooo overwhelmed by my own personal ones that I just don't have to pick the best, fix them, get them up on the blog, etc. Well... here's a shot. We'll see if this will take me like all day to get finished. Excuse that half of these photos are iphone pics, but it is my main-day-to-day-capture-the-moment camera. I love my iPhone. (despite the fact that since the OS4 update it runs like crap)

At 5 months, Chloe is:

Wearing her lightening hair in cute new ways



Trying on cute dresses that she got as gifts before she grows out of them



Riding on a boat! (just once, but it was fun!)



Rolling over all the time from back to tummy, but still can't quite get the other way (even though that was the first way she rolled over weeks ago)



She's spending lots more time outside with her friends & family






Still sleeping very well through the night, waking up sometimes... and taking pretty regular (short) naps about every 2-3 hours. Usually you are tired and cranky by 7:00pm!



Trying to sit up oh so hard! But occasionally toppling down...



Sitting on the front porch steps with mommy & daddy



Eating new foods, oatmeal, sweet potatoes, and pears
(also looking just like her daddy - what the heck)



Talking and babbling and yelling. You go to the nursery at church now because you are too loud :) But we love it at home!



Becoming friends with Tycho... :)



Laughing, smiling, and seemingly in love with everyone!



Also... TEETHING! I don't have a picture though, but your first bottom tooth is popping through ... started on your 5 month birthday!

CRAZY Dreams

I have been having some of my most vivid and bizarre dreams over the last few nights. No idea what is going on. Last night I read Stephanie Meyer's new Novella before bed, and therefore dreamed about vampires. You should read all this because you might be mentioned! The night before all of these things were in my dream:

I DREAMT ON JULY 24:
Bill & Christie were pregnant with twins
Lady Gaga was doing my hair and she told me to go back to my natural color
Someone tried to steal my laptop, camera, AND hard-drive
I dropped my 17-55mm 2.8 lens (again, this happened in real life...it fell out of my shootsac) and it was totally broken.
I forgot about 2 love/engagement sessions, I literally was half asleep when they all showed up, and the weather was crappy - Danielle & Dave, and Heather Kinal & her hubby Murl. Both were really upset with me. We were climbing over roofs and in these weird blue rooms.
I was taking pictures of Jessy Deppen/Burkell & Laurel Watson/Clark, as friends, couple... I don't know why!
My mom & dad stopped over unannounced and I freaked out on them (not that far off from reality) ;-)
There was a tv show/film going on right outside my house
My mother was letting homeless people into my house and demanding that I feed them.

It... was... weird!

almost 4 months old

I cannot believe this little girl. She is 16 weeks old now and so very vocal. She loves to smile at herself, she must think she's pretty cute. (she's right)



She is doing great on her tummy, but she still gets annoyed after about 5-10 minutes there.



She rolled over last Friday twice in a row from tummy to back, but we haven't been able to get her to repeat it since. Her hair is going NUTs. She loves when Brian or I put her high above our head and sing "Super girl!"




She makes a hilarious pouty face now that cracks me up! (see below)



And she is learning and communicating. I can't wait to hear what her voice will be like one day! I am loving being her mom, struggling with time and how to get into a routine. But she sleeps so well at night, I can't complain about anything. She is an angel baby!

Here are some cute videos of her. The first is at 14 weeks, the second at 15, and the third taken this morning at 16 weeks. Enjoy :)