wow, a lot of people found out today

I had a wedding last night with tons of people I knew, and a bridal shower and church today with even more people I knew - some who I haven't seen a while and who knew Brian and I were thinking about trying. Some even came right out and asked me. It is so hard to keep this quiet with so many who are interested in our lives surrounding me. I admit I have a lot of fear about too many people knowing in case something were to go wrong; but I can't live in fear and must trust that God will protect this pregnancy and new life, so I'm trying to just be excited with those who are so thrilled for us, instead of going "crap... they know too?"

My good friend Meghan gave me 3 pregnancy books today, so I'm starting to go through the parts that are applicable to this early stage of pregnancy. It's scary and exciting to read about all that is happening, but also really comforting to know that the early symptoms I have are totally normal and many have gone through them before me. Knowing right now the baby is the size of an apple seed, and even has a heart forming that will soon be fluttering, is thrilling and intense!

Today we got the news of a couple who were one week away from their due date, and lost their baby due to an umbilical cord complication. This is so tragic, and so sad, and very scary to hear, especially when you are still processing the crazy changes and new life that is just starting to form inside of you. I admit it turned my insides and my thoughts immediately went to others I know who have struggled with this, and gone through similar if not the same thing. I feel so much hurt and sorrow for this couple, and pray for comfort in this unbelievably difficult time.

God, we have to believe in You and your divine providence in these situations - otherwise, how else can any of it make sense without you? How can anyone have any hope without knowing that You love us more than anything else?


You give and take away.. You give and take away.
My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name.


God, help us to be able to truly believe that and love and praise You through it all. As you took my grandmother to her heavenly home, you are now giving our family a new life and I will praise You through each step of the way.